Category Archives: Dating

Italian Restaurant Owner Guy run in..

Posted on by datinglatonyc

Weirdly, I have been trying to find Jack’s Coffee on 10th street ever since I walked by a few weeks before almost as an obsessive game. If I walk from East to West it’s there but from West to East.. I get confused and end up on the wrong street. Every Time! I was nearing stay’s end and destined to find it. Today’s the DAY!

Carefully I paid attention to my each and every turn and mistakenly passing Joe’s, again, which is a lovely spot on 12th and Gay. I’ve been there a bunch and the staff is as wonderfully bold as the coffee but today I wanted to find Jack’s.

Turning the corner on 6th Ave making my way North something seemed familiar. I found my way to 10th street, which is the street I began on in the first place, and right smack a few feet from the corner… JACK’s!!!

Disheveled from a challenging yoga class, sweaty walk and an extra added bonus of the pimple I so lovingly oozed til it bled,  I found my way inside and right smack in front of Italian Restaurant Guy. Today WAS the day, I guess. My heart stopped for a second realizing the mess I was standing in front of him. He looked up from his shared table “Hello”, he smiled. “Hello”, I replied and asked if he was feeling better, rested and as I stood at the counter to grab my coffee… My heart melted for a second. Was he standing to give me seat? I didn’t want that. I’d rather he was sitting in front of me…the showered beautiful me rather than the mangled, smelly after yoga me.

This all had to be a sign. Why else would the one day I actually found the coffee joint be the one day I see him again? Coincidence? Maybe but I think not… destiny? Perhaps…

He walked me to the corner making small talk and the he rode off on his bike dreading the truck he was renting in Brooklyn since he’s a self-proclaimed BAD driver!

Maybe our paths will cross again some time soon. He didn’t ask for my number or to stay in contact… Maybe I’m nuts! OR just optimistic? Time will certainly tell as life is as it is and not what you hope it will be? Oh, bullshit… I want what I want! And he’s dreamy to me 🙂

Shakespeare-guy goodbye?

Posted on by datinglatonyc

So yesterday I received an text from Shakespeare asking if “hey I haven’t heard from you in a while are still on for tomorrow?” Really??? Are we on for tomorrow’s show, where I introduce you to a friend of mine after not fearing from you all week following a brief TEXT exchange 2 days after our date. NO, we are NOT on for tomorrow, Asshole!! Of course, I didn’t respond with such honesty.. No… I chickened out and erased many of the original reactive responses ending up with.. “Sorry. No phone yesterday. No, I hadn’t heard from you all week so I made other plans.”

NOW, why did I have to lie about the phone? Well, the truth??  It made me sound better (or appear as if it sounded better) for not responding quicker since that was today and not within the “appropriate time-frame” for text etiquette. Why the struggle? Why care so much about what others think about me? I wish I didn’t feel so sensitive about it or could let go of the expectation or need to feel perfectly well-liked. I’M WORKING ON IT!!! the need to be more genuine and honest for me in my life!1 It’s not the way I’ve lived the last 37 years though the change is necessaary for me to live a more authentic truth. HIS response was “The phone works both ways, C-I’m confused with what happened with us?” ” NOW of course, placing the blame of the contact on me is NOt going to put me in a good place to start.

With my heart racing, anger building.. I take a breath and erase the first 5 notes I begin to text. I end up with… “When you have some time give a call and we can discuss as I’m sure there’s some confusion on both sides”. Breathe! An hour and a half later, I get a call from him, which I missed as I was out and about doing my thing. I called him back while I sat getting a free Mani after stumbling into heaven set for me only 4 days before my bday.. yea! Now I know full well that he is at work and from our last conversation, I found out that he doesn’t enjoy talking on the phone especially while AT work, which I can understand so after getting his VM since he has no reception in the office, I’ve decided to wait until he’s done before I try again. NOW this buys me some time, of course.. AND sitting in Bryant Park during coffee-happy-hour, sitting with a friend to hold ourselves accountable and actually do work, together, seems to be doing the job. It’s practicing the philosophy that I learned or am adopting into my routine is that of NEXT!

A healer-type person I see (energy chiropractor, dealing with energies and the central nervous system NSA and SRI-more on that another time) bestowed wisdom upon me which I have passed along to many following myself more times than not, right now, even though the “change” is sometimes a guttural struggle. She said to me, “think of dating as if you were clothes shopping. when you go to the store and walk up to the dress rack or the shirt/blouse rack you stand in front of it and with one hand you physically move along through the selections… ‘Next, Next, Next!’ If I gained 10 lbs, if I lost 5 lbs, if the buttons were different, the hem length, the color.. Next, Next, Next… If it was less money, a different color, the material was softer, too light, to heavy, Next, Next.. if I got it altered, if I altered myself, Next, NEXT, NEXT!!! NOW, think of it as if you had 30 minutes to get into the store, find the rack, try it on, pay and get on the road… You don’t have time to get it altered, alter yourself, change the color, price, collar or waste time contemplating whether it will fit better when you get it home, right? You move on! Most of the time you don’t think back on it in a day or two and if you do, maybe it’s still there and maybe not but for THIS event “your life” it has to fit for you in the moment, today! As IS! and if not… then… NEXT~! Move on and find one that does! NOW, this philosophy works it terms of dating, not as a superficial tool because nothing is going to be perfect but it has to work now, as is, for who you are, I am, we are and if not… no hard feelings, really. Nothing taken personally. It just doesn’t work, right now! Move on, NEXT!! I feel like I’m getting it more and more each time I move past, refuse to dwell or wonder what I’ve done or could have done, or why they didn’t or I didn’t feel the fit. Change is as easy as we allow it to be and in this moment.. I am looking to change myself to find a more relaxed, calm, happy me. For me and with me.

hang up or hang out

Posted on by datinglatonyc

Not in the mood today to get hung up on! Toes guy has “extenuating circumstances” and was out last night with a friend instead of seeing me. Fine!! Just don’t keep dropping the call b/c you’re in the Vineyard with your “extenuating circumstances” and feel offended when I didn’t know you were coming so I didn’t make plans to see you and when you say you want to meet up with me… THEN make plans with someone else and think it’s OK to treat me like I’m second!! I will not act favorable to this treatment. and you will not be on top of the list of preferences to hang out with when I DO have time. I’m tired of being treated second and I think it’s getting to me today!! Received an email from Shakespeare asking how my new place was treating me, a text from Bra-girl asking about my move and I don’t really care for the last way I was treated by either of them so I’m not as excited to respond. To get hung up on, whether it’s the service or not??? THIS is NOT the DAY~ the anger pours out of me today!! And the hot chocolate and the energy session, gyrontronics class and walk in the cold rain just opened me up for vengeance! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! My bday is next week and I can’t see that I want too many people around me at this point! tomorrow is a new day and everything is possible!! OH- and got another text from Gumba-guy

imagejpeg_3.jpg with the message: Here Chrissi try this. Good for ass itch. I use it all thhe time.

 

WTF??? Who the F is Chrissi and WHY does he still have my number??

Toes-guy in town

Posted on by datinglatonyc

What a surprise to get a call from La Guardia Airport from none other than Toes-guy, today. He’s in town to go to the Vineyard with the guy he stays with.  That’s a weird situation. some older guy pays him to spend time, dinners, parties, trips.. doesn’t touch him or asked to be touched, which would only make the whole thing more strange, but actually pays for companionship from hot men. HOT young men. He confessed to all this last time he was here. I knew something was up… just didn’t seem kosher to me. Anyway.. he’s here for a day or so before he gets swooped up to Martha’s Vineyard. I just didn’t have the time today. He’s super sweet and offered a night time meet but dinner with his “employer” takes precedence, I get it.. If you have no other income.. why not? Just not MY cuppa tea.

Though it was nice to hear his high pitched voice.. we did not extend the effort to make the time. Maybe when he comes back through.. maybe not?

Shakespeare again.. #5 to be exact…

Posted on by datinglatonyc

So, ok… I walked again and was late… again.. SHOOT me! I called, I was 14 minutes late. It was f’n HOT… not to mention I moved to the Village today so I misjudged the time it would take to walk in heels.

He was less than pleased, sort of joking but I called him on it and apologized for being late. He said I’ve never been on time, which I corrected him that I was early 2 times.. well 1 time and on time 1 other on time and maybe he should plan things 15 minutes later and give me an earlier call time. I don’t mean it. He says I’m stubborn and HAVE to walk. I’m not sure that’s stubborn.., thrifty, perhaps? Maybe I just enjoy walking?

Dinner was at a place, which I’ve dined, Frank’s Italian, in the East Village, his suggestion, so I didn’t want to poo poo his plan. He HAD a plan, mind you. The food was delightful; the ambiance was loud.. much louder than when I sat outside by myself talking to two salesmen from Oregon and Baltimore. He was razzing me about not remembering ALL of our conversations at the Vodka Bar last week. He revealed some of the lost memories with tales of his smoking and us sharing our admiration for one another.

We walk to a jazz bar a few blocks away; I hold his arm, he strangely stiffens up. What is with that? Why do guys think that if a woman takes an elbow or forearm that they immediately bend there arm so as to keep our hand from falling down? It makes them feel weird or at least stiffen up and walk differently. Sorry. Ok, so we sit outside on a bench in the now warming evening… a glass of booze, to which he claims not to be a lush.. oh!! We ended up at the jazz bar since I declined his offer to go back to his place to have a drink. Really? Is that where the night was going? ‘Cause I wasn’t feeling it go there. We had just spoken over dinner about how he didn’t kiss meon the 1st couple dates because he liked me but wasn’t sure that there was interest on my part so he HAD to kiss me on the 4th date or there wasn’t going to be a 5th date at all. “I wasn’t going to waste my time if we hadn’t kissed that night” he said to me. “Really? ‘Cause the difference I liked about you was that you didn’t shove your tongue down my throat on the 1st meeting”, I replied. THIS was our dinner conversation. Really? do you think I’m going home with you?

Our evening ends with him waiving down a cab and putting us into it. “2 stops” he says.. his, then mine, claiming he forgot I had moved to the Village.. ok! Again, asking if I was going to come over. I say “another time” and he’s off with a slight peck.

Crazy! not a word about seeing each other again. No text or call today.. another thing he told me he didn’t like was talking onthe phone nor my delayed responses in text. “replies should be immediate with texts” were his words. Wow, really? Not sure I’m liking him as much right now. Think that sex thing is the main thing on his brain and not getting to know me… that’s too bad… really.

 

not in the mood-guy

Posted on by datinglatonyc

After sitting at Lincoln center witnessing an artistic dance in the reflection pool, I was joined by a man that I really wasn’t in the mood for. He was not my physical type in the slightest nor was I interested in being charming.

I was taken to NJ with Bra-girl to a””pool party” at her cousins and a possible slumber party at her mom’s… THIS is MY fault for believing this was going to be a FUN Stress Free place to put myself. IT WAS horrible!! She was a MESS. Her cousin and husband are a MESS and the ones having the party were too young for me though fascinating to witness. Bra-girl was the most negative, disconnected, hypochondriac, stress case EVER!! Crying because her ex drove us to get her car and even though hes moving out tomorrow, she’s upset that he talks to friends that are girls and THAT was how the day began! Them being lat. Them being together. And her a complaining HOT MESS!! I’m DONE! Can’t keep her in my life like this.. it’s not healthy for me in the slightest.

So I took a bus back to the city and she un-caringly dropped me off complaining of who-the-fuck-cares anymore??!! It all the same!!!  Made a decision to go out instead of staying in.. and Lincoln Center seemed the correct venue for me. Off I went.

I was not welcomed by a lady that I was trying to pass by to sit below the people in chairs in the front row. “What’s your problem? where do you think you’re going to go? I can’t believe she’s just going to move in front of us”… were said out loud to me and the others she was peering through to get a glimpse of the production. I excused myself and sat down behind a second anal this time, young chick, who was easily distractable.. every sound or rustle pushed her farther over the edge. I slowly took out my empanada to the drum beat that was very well timed.. daggers; I put the bag on the ground…sighs and head turns. I looked next to me and who did I see glaring? the 1st lady that decided that my maneuvering wasn’t such a horrible idea and decided to play follow the leader. a few moment later a gentleman removed himself and the 1st lady grabbed his seat giving me a nasty nod. Who took her place but a woman that so rudely had her cell phone ring on SUPER loud, which flew the 2nd girl over the edge and when the phone girl answered it? I thought the other one was going to hit her. It made me giggle a bit inside as it was and OUTDOOR performance equipped with sirens and car horns, children screams and wind. I thought daggers might actaully fly out of  the 2nd chick’s skin. It’s the little wins that bring me pleasure.

So after all that madness.. I was approached by a guy that I wasn’t paying attention but definitely fancied me. The questions just kept coming and my short retort was almost rude feeling at times. I didn’t make much eye contact and kept referencing Shakespeare guy and my short stay in the city..etc… of course he was walking in the same direction so of course he walked me home. I couldn’t have said goodbye quicker and he was on his way… not in the mood!!

 

too much vodka- Shakespeare guy

Posted on by datinglatonyc

We were to go to Rain, a Beatles tribute which was closing this week and I had purchased discount tickets on Play-by-Play. $4 Broadway tickets, baby!! After the divine martini joint, HK’s, it was time.

Must meet the ticket guy outside on a corner of Shubert Alley 30-60 minutes before. Well, THAT didn’t happen! We were late! the martinis were tasty and the minimal. I was doing my best to work off the hang-over from the night before with Bra-girl. THAT’s always an interesting time. She’s a HOT MESS!!! but kinda fun.. I digress..

At a hurried pace just moments before curtain, we rush from the “alley” to the theater to the alley again darting around asking anyone for the “ticket-guy’s” whereabouts. A futile attempt, we decided to go for more drinks instead… well, I followed along a tad sulky from missing the show.

A Russian Vodka bar was our destination a few blocks away just across a “lesser” establishment. We found 2 seats at the half crowded rounded bar. Pink infused vodka came in a heart shaped glass carafe, Strawberry, I believe… and we were off! still not much food, I remind you. A second bottle is selected of a ginger-peach mixture, which was less sweet but by this time… not too many cares.

He’s more affectionate. Kissing from our stools. Meeting and sharing more shots of a yellower, sweeter variety with a few guys next to us. My stomach’s feeling the sugar, still in the less than drunk but on my way, frame of mind… we head out. NOW, I remember walking out of the bar, him leading my hand.. AND I remember him opening the taxi door as we got inside.. a few kisses and I was at my building. He drove off and I was let in by the nightwatchman with few words I was spinning up the stairs. IT HIT ME! Holy Crap…I’m drunk and soooo happy that I am home by myself holding my own hair as my glasses were placed on the back of the toilet seat, shoes kicked off and purse thrown to the side.. Just in time! I don’t think I could’ve lasted 5 more minutes and thank goddness i made the bowl!

Apparently, there was an entire part I have blocked out… The time and conversation from the bar to the taxi. Gone! I am told it was our most candid yet with him agreeing not to take me to his place and me fighting with myself to either walk or ride the 8 blocks back to my place. He WAS a gentleman, he tells me and I DO believe that. I just wish I remembered what was said in those lost moments.

We have agreed that Monday will be a more sober time. Now that was 4 dates and  a first kiss.. well, maybe more than 1 kiss. I’m enjoying him so far! Let’s see how it goes…

change of plans.. Shakespeare switch to lunch from dinner

Posted on by datinglatonyc

“When do I get to see you again?” he asked. He was free the days I was not and vice-versa so we settled on a tentative dinner after an Improv show I wanted to attend, following a class I was going to take with Tom Soter. It was HOT!! Soooooooooooo hot, steamy, stagnant and sticky! We touched base a couple of times and he was a go for the show but through the texts and apparently my poor sales pitch.. he decided another day was better than squeezing in time later than one would want dinner. 930p meet up since I hadn’t had time to get home and change from the thickness of the day.

I actually was a bit bummed that he chose not to come to the show but to stay home and cook dinner. He later told me that he would’ve invited me over but didn’t want to be too presumptuous and I thanked him for that. Still would’ve preferred to be seen than heard. We spoke on the phone while he finished preparations of seafood and accouterments and I walked the streets of the UWS to find some grub.

We agreed on lunch for the next day if appointments made it possible and they did.

I was looking forward to seeing him and didn’t want him to feel I wasn’t interested but had already made plans for the nights he suggested. Sushi. On my block. At the very place I went with Toes-guy a week before, Kodoma. We chatted about the show he missed and the one I will be doing next week since I was asked by the teacher to join it and as flattered as that makes me, it scares the shit out of me, too. I feel supported by him and that he has a genuine interest in who I am. Refreshing! He looks great every time I’ve seem him. Glad there was a tiny mouth peck at the end of this one. 3 down… smiling so far!

cousin-guy texts again..

Posted on by datinglatonyc

Just a couple of texts and a phone call wondering when we can meet up again. I’m just not that interested in him, I guess. The lack of passion when he kissed me before and the way too recent break up from a 3+ relationship make me think.. the young one and I are not on the same page. I’m about 10 years older and though he’s a mover and a shaker, moving to LA.. I’m thinking Shakespeare-guy is winning out so far. That’s my new standard. 3 dates and not a tongue down my throat!

#11 Cousin-guy

Posted on by datinglatonyc

About a month ago I was out with a high school friend that was here on business and a friend of his, which apparently I have met once before, though I have no recollection of this. My friend kinda ditched me/us for some girl’s tonsils so I was left with his friend, “Lips” (they are luscious!!)  So Lips and I danced the night away to Salsa, Merengue, Bossa Nova and whatever else he could dance me through  as every good partner needs an even better leader. I think this holds well in life, too. So “Lips” wanted to stay in touch and a week or so later asked me to meet him and his cousin at a rooftop bar.

I snuck my way  in with others that were walking through the highly gaurded ropes to avoid the line and up to the top floor I went in less than sexy than sexy attire, since I was dining alone that evening… I know.. not really an excuse. Anyway, his cousin was there and about to leave as I walked in. HANDSOME, nicely dressed and aggressive. I wasn’t there more than 10 minutes when he pulled me aside.. “so listen, I think you’re BEAUTIFUL and I’d love to take you out sometime. Do you have anything going on with my cousin or your friend, because I’d love to see you again” were whispered to me over the balcony as he whisked me into seclusion. “Nope, nothing going on with my friend  or your cousin. I’ve only been here 2 weeks”, was the answer, my number entered into his phone and off he went.

He sent a text about an hour later and that was all I heard for about 3 weeks. Out of the blue I received one asking to go out later in the week. We set a date and a few hours before I get a text that he’s beat, just coming back from Connecticut and could we do something later in the week. I reply, “sure, let’s” and that was that. Didn’t hear from him for another 2 weeks. We set up plans for the next night, him asking when I was free, me replying “after7, maybe 8?” so he asks to meet at 830. “OK”… I get a text at 8 saying he’s going to need more time as he was at a family thing all day (which is only 10 minutes from his place) and he’ll meet me or pick me up at 9. I say, “I have more time so tell me where we’re going and I’ll walk. I start walking to a place that is NOWHERE near me that he chose and now instead of 9 he’s moved it to 930/940.. Let me tell ya… if it was 10p? I was going home. BUT I didn’t have anything else going on so… I gave him the benefit of the doubt!

We meet at a Spanish Tapas Bar and he only wants 1 Sangria. I follow his lead… 1 turns into 3 and we’re in a cab with the conversation still flowing. He has told me that he’s fairly “new” out of a 3.5 year relationship, is almost 9 years younger than me and may be moving to LA soon. So the La part works… it’s now been over 3 hours and we’re on to our next local… time FLEW!! We make it to another bar and while he’s in the bathroom the bartender sneaks me a shot “quick before he gets back” he says.. so he returns and get are given 2 more shots along with our original beverage and we’ve closed that one down too!

We’re standing outside the Hotel Bar and he grabs me tight and kisses me. Again. Again… I cup my hands on the sides of his eyes as he’s searching for something outside of where we are. “Hey, what are you looking for or hiding from?” “Just looking for a cab”, he replies. “Well, then go and look OR kiss me but don’t do both”… and he grabs my hips and thrusts them into his 3-5 times, which was a bit weird and again with the staccato kissing. “Come hoe with me”, he said…”uh.. NOOO” I answer and we jump into a cab with him professing my beauty. I think the alcohol might be getting to him and for some reason.. not me. “You’re so beautiful. I mean it. I knew from the moment I saw you at the bar that I wanted to see you again” was said a few times that night. Very sweet and oh so wrong in the same moment.

He texted when he dropped me off telling me he wants to see me again and again the next day with the “I had a great tiem with you and know I will again, when we see each other next”. I like the “interest” he shows, don’t get me wrong… Just think he has a few things to work out and learn.. maybe even take some space. We’ll see if he pursues.