Toes-guy in town


What a surprise to get a call from La Guardia Airport from none other than Toes-guy, today. He’s in town to go to the Vineyard with the guy he stays with.  That’s a weird situation. some older guy pays him to spend time, dinners, parties, trips.. doesn’t touch him or asked to be touched, which would only make the whole thing more strange, but actually pays for companionship from hot men. HOT young men. He confessed to all this last time he was here. I knew something was up… just didn’t seem kosher to me. Anyway.. he’s here for a day or so before he gets swooped up to Martha’s Vineyard. I just didn’t have the time today. He’s super sweet and offered a night time meet but dinner with his “employer” takes precedence, I get it.. If you have no other income.. why not? Just not MY cuppa tea.

Though it was nice to hear his high pitched voice.. we did not extend the effort to make the time. Maybe when he comes back through.. maybe not?

Shakespeare again.. #5 to be exact…


So, ok… I walked again and was late… again.. SHOOT me! I called, I was 14 minutes late. It was f’n HOT… not to mention I moved to the Village today so I misjudged the time it would take to walk in heels.

He was less than pleased, sort of joking but I called him on it and apologized for being late. He said I’ve never been on time, which I corrected him that I was early 2 times.. well 1 time and on time 1 other on time and maybe he should plan things 15 minutes later and give me an earlier call time. I don’t mean it. He says I’m stubborn and HAVE to walk. I’m not sure that’s stubborn.., thrifty, perhaps? Maybe I just enjoy walking?

Dinner was at a place, which I’ve dined, Frank’s Italian, in the East Village, his suggestion, so I didn’t want to poo poo his plan. He HAD a plan, mind you. The food was delightful; the ambiance was loud.. much louder than when I sat outside by myself talking to two salesmen from Oregon and Baltimore. He was razzing me about not remembering ALL of our conversations at the Vodka Bar last week. He revealed some of the lost memories with tales of his smoking and us sharing our admiration for one another.

We walk to a jazz bar a few blocks away; I hold his arm, he strangely stiffens up. What is with that? Why do guys think that if a woman takes an elbow or forearm that they immediately bend there arm so as to keep our hand from falling down? It makes them feel weird or at least stiffen up and walk differently. Sorry. Ok, so we sit outside on a bench in the now warming evening… a glass of booze, to which he claims not to be a lush.. oh!! We ended up at the jazz bar since I declined his offer to go back to his place to have a drink. Really? Is that where the night was going? ‘Cause I wasn’t feeling it go there. We had just spoken over dinner about how he didn’t kiss meon the 1st couple dates because he liked me but wasn’t sure that there was interest on my part so he HAD to kiss me on the 4th date or there wasn’t going to be a 5th date at all. “I wasn’t going to waste my time if we hadn’t kissed that night” he said to me. “Really? ‘Cause the difference I liked about you was that you didn’t shove your tongue down my throat on the 1st meeting”, I replied. THIS was our dinner conversation. Really? do you think I’m going home with you?

Our evening ends with him waiving down a cab and putting us into it. “2 stops” he says.. his, then mine, claiming he forgot I had moved to the Village.. ok! Again, asking if I was going to come over. I say “another time” and he’s off with a slight peck.

Crazy! not a word about seeing each other again. No text or call today.. another thing he told me he didn’t like was talking onthe phone nor my delayed responses in text. “replies should be immediate with texts” were his words. Wow, really? Not sure I’m liking him as much right now. Think that sex thing is the main thing on his brain and not getting to know me… that’s too bad… really.

 

not in the mood-guy


After sitting at Lincoln center witnessing an artistic dance in the reflection pool, I was joined by a man that I really wasn’t in the mood for. He was not my physical type in the slightest nor was I interested in being charming.

I was taken to NJ with Bra-girl to a””pool party” at her cousins and a possible slumber party at her mom’s… THIS is MY fault for believing this was going to be a FUN Stress Free place to put myself. IT WAS horrible!! She was a MESS. Her cousin and husband are a MESS and the ones having the party were too young for me though fascinating to witness. Bra-girl was the most negative, disconnected, hypochondriac, stress case EVER!! Crying because her ex drove us to get her car and even though hes moving out tomorrow, she’s upset that he talks to friends that are girls and THAT was how the day began! Them being lat. Them being together. And her a complaining HOT MESS!! I’m DONE! Can’t keep her in my life like this.. it’s not healthy for me in the slightest.

So I took a bus back to the city and she un-caringly dropped me off complaining of who-the-fuck-cares anymore??!! It all the same!!!  Made a decision to go out instead of staying in.. and Lincoln Center seemed the correct venue for me. Off I went.

I was not welcomed by a lady that I was trying to pass by to sit below the people in chairs in the front row. “What’s your problem? where do you think you’re going to go? I can’t believe she’s just going to move in front of us”… were said out loud to me and the others she was peering through to get a glimpse of the production. I excused myself and sat down behind a second anal this time, young chick, who was easily distractable.. every sound or rustle pushed her farther over the edge. I slowly took out my empanada to the drum beat that was very well timed.. daggers; I put the bag on the ground…sighs and head turns. I looked next to me and who did I see glaring? the 1st lady that decided that my maneuvering wasn’t such a horrible idea and decided to play follow the leader. a few moment later a gentleman removed himself and the 1st lady grabbed his seat giving me a nasty nod. Who took her place but a woman that so rudely had her cell phone ring on SUPER loud, which flew the 2nd girl over the edge and when the phone girl answered it? I thought the other one was going to hit her. It made me giggle a bit inside as it was and OUTDOOR performance equipped with sirens and car horns, children screams and wind. I thought daggers might actaully fly out of  the 2nd chick’s skin. It’s the little wins that bring me pleasure.

So after all that madness.. I was approached by a guy that I wasn’t paying attention but definitely fancied me. The questions just kept coming and my short retort was almost rude feeling at times. I didn’t make much eye contact and kept referencing Shakespeare guy and my short stay in the city..etc… of course he was walking in the same direction so of course he walked me home. I couldn’t have said goodbye quicker and he was on his way… not in the mood!!

 

too much vodka- Shakespeare guy


We were to go to Rain, a Beatles tribute which was closing this week and I had purchased discount tickets on Play-by-Play. $4 Broadway tickets, baby!! After the divine martini joint, HK’s, it was time.

Must meet the ticket guy outside on a corner of Shubert Alley 30-60 minutes before. Well, THAT didn’t happen! We were late! the martinis were tasty and the minimal. I was doing my best to work off the hang-over from the night before with Bra-girl. THAT’s always an interesting time. She’s a HOT MESS!!! but kinda fun.. I digress..

At a hurried pace just moments before curtain, we rush from the “alley” to the theater to the alley again darting around asking anyone for the “ticket-guy’s” whereabouts. A futile attempt, we decided to go for more drinks instead… well, I followed along a tad sulky from missing the show.

A Russian Vodka bar was our destination a few blocks away just across a “lesser” establishment. We found 2 seats at the half crowded rounded bar. Pink infused vodka came in a heart shaped glass carafe, Strawberry, I believe… and we were off! still not much food, I remind you. A second bottle is selected of a ginger-peach mixture, which was less sweet but by this time… not too many cares.

He’s more affectionate. Kissing from our stools. Meeting and sharing more shots of a yellower, sweeter variety with a few guys next to us. My stomach’s feeling the sugar, still in the less than drunk but on my way, frame of mind… we head out. NOW, I remember walking out of the bar, him leading my hand.. AND I remember him opening the taxi door as we got inside.. a few kisses and I was at my building. He drove off and I was let in by the nightwatchman with few words I was spinning up the stairs. IT HIT ME! Holy Crap…I’m drunk and soooo happy that I am home by myself holding my own hair as my glasses were placed on the back of the toilet seat, shoes kicked off and purse thrown to the side.. Just in time! I don’t think I could’ve lasted 5 more minutes and thank goddness i made the bowl!

Apparently, there was an entire part I have blocked out… The time and conversation from the bar to the taxi. Gone! I am told it was our most candid yet with him agreeing not to take me to his place and me fighting with myself to either walk or ride the 8 blocks back to my place. He WAS a gentleman, he tells me and I DO believe that. I just wish I remembered what was said in those lost moments.

We have agreed that Monday will be a more sober time. Now that was 4 dates and  a first kiss.. well, maybe more than 1 kiss. I’m enjoying him so far! Let’s see how it goes…

change of plans.. Shakespeare switch to lunch from dinner


“When do I get to see you again?” he asked. He was free the days I was not and vice-versa so we settled on a tentative dinner after an Improv show I wanted to attend, following a class I was going to take with Tom Soter. It was HOT!! Soooooooooooo hot, steamy, stagnant and sticky! We touched base a couple of times and he was a go for the show but through the texts and apparently my poor sales pitch.. he decided another day was better than squeezing in time later than one would want dinner. 930p meet up since I hadn’t had time to get home and change from the thickness of the day.

I actually was a bit bummed that he chose not to come to the show but to stay home and cook dinner. He later told me that he would’ve invited me over but didn’t want to be too presumptuous and I thanked him for that. Still would’ve preferred to be seen than heard. We spoke on the phone while he finished preparations of seafood and accouterments and I walked the streets of the UWS to find some grub.

We agreed on lunch for the next day if appointments made it possible and they did.

I was looking forward to seeing him and didn’t want him to feel I wasn’t interested but had already made plans for the nights he suggested. Sushi. On my block. At the very place I went with Toes-guy a week before, Kodoma. We chatted about the show he missed and the one I will be doing next week since I was asked by the teacher to join it and as flattered as that makes me, it scares the shit out of me, too. I feel supported by him and that he has a genuine interest in who I am. Refreshing! He looks great every time I’ve seem him. Glad there was a tiny mouth peck at the end of this one. 3 down… smiling so far!

cousin-guy texts again..


Just a couple of texts and a phone call wondering when we can meet up again. I’m just not that interested in him, I guess. The lack of passion when he kissed me before and the way too recent break up from a 3+ relationship make me think.. the young one and I are not on the same page. I’m about 10 years older and though he’s a mover and a shaker, moving to LA.. I’m thinking Shakespeare-guy is winning out so far. That’s my new standard. 3 dates and not a tongue down my throat!

#11 Cousin-guy


About a month ago I was out with a high school friend that was here on business and a friend of his, which apparently I have met once before, though I have no recollection of this. My friend kinda ditched me/us for some girl’s tonsils so I was left with his friend, “Lips” (they are luscious!!)  So Lips and I danced the night away to Salsa, Merengue, Bossa Nova and whatever else he could dance me through  as every good partner needs an even better leader. I think this holds well in life, too. So “Lips” wanted to stay in touch and a week or so later asked me to meet him and his cousin at a rooftop bar.

I snuck my way  in with others that were walking through the highly gaurded ropes to avoid the line and up to the top floor I went in less than sexy than sexy attire, since I was dining alone that evening… I know.. not really an excuse. Anyway, his cousin was there and about to leave as I walked in. HANDSOME, nicely dressed and aggressive. I wasn’t there more than 10 minutes when he pulled me aside.. “so listen, I think you’re BEAUTIFUL and I’d love to take you out sometime. Do you have anything going on with my cousin or your friend, because I’d love to see you again” were whispered to me over the balcony as he whisked me into seclusion. “Nope, nothing going on with my friend  or your cousin. I’ve only been here 2 weeks”, was the answer, my number entered into his phone and off he went.

He sent a text about an hour later and that was all I heard for about 3 weeks. Out of the blue I received one asking to go out later in the week. We set a date and a few hours before I get a text that he’s beat, just coming back from Connecticut and could we do something later in the week. I reply, “sure, let’s” and that was that. Didn’t hear from him for another 2 weeks. We set up plans for the next night, him asking when I was free, me replying “after7, maybe 8?” so he asks to meet at 830. “OK”… I get a text at 8 saying he’s going to need more time as he was at a family thing all day (which is only 10 minutes from his place) and he’ll meet me or pick me up at 9. I say, “I have more time so tell me where we’re going and I’ll walk. I start walking to a place that is NOWHERE near me that he chose and now instead of 9 he’s moved it to 930/940.. Let me tell ya… if it was 10p? I was going home. BUT I didn’t have anything else going on so… I gave him the benefit of the doubt!

We meet at a Spanish Tapas Bar and he only wants 1 Sangria. I follow his lead… 1 turns into 3 and we’re in a cab with the conversation still flowing. He has told me that he’s fairly “new” out of a 3.5 year relationship, is almost 9 years younger than me and may be moving to LA soon. So the La part works… it’s now been over 3 hours and we’re on to our next local… time FLEW!! We make it to another bar and while he’s in the bathroom the bartender sneaks me a shot “quick before he gets back” he says.. so he returns and get are given 2 more shots along with our original beverage and we’ve closed that one down too!

We’re standing outside the Hotel Bar and he grabs me tight and kisses me. Again. Again… I cup my hands on the sides of his eyes as he’s searching for something outside of where we are. “Hey, what are you looking for or hiding from?” “Just looking for a cab”, he replies. “Well, then go and look OR kiss me but don’t do both”… and he grabs my hips and thrusts them into his 3-5 times, which was a bit weird and again with the staccato kissing. “Come hoe with me”, he said…”uh.. NOOO” I answer and we jump into a cab with him professing my beauty. I think the alcohol might be getting to him and for some reason.. not me. “You’re so beautiful. I mean it. I knew from the moment I saw you at the bar that I wanted to see you again” was said a few times that night. Very sweet and oh so wrong in the same moment.

He texted when he dropped me off telling me he wants to see me again and again the next day with the “I had a great tiem with you and know I will again, when we see each other next”. I like the “interest” he shows, don’t get me wrong… Just think he has a few things to work out and learn.. maybe even take some space. We’ll see if he pursues.

straps strikes again


Just got an email from Straps-guy asking to have dinner since he’s “back from Mumbai”. Ew!! Haven’t heard from him in about a month or more…

I did reply, with gross saliva building in my mouth like I was keeping myself from throwing up.. “gonna pass, thanks though.” It’s all I could muster up…. blech! they always come back… especially when you don’t want them to.

Toes guy – afternoon rendevous


It’s nice to see him . My body gets a bit moist as I know he’s on his way. I wait outside but have to pee bacly so Igo next door and notice that bright red blood is tormenting me. This is the WRONG  time for my period to come early!! Shit! shit, shit,shit!!

He’s made it in and is standing at my door when I finally get up the stairs.  I’m not sure how I feel about this.. Maybe we can go for a walk? He closes his eyes and kisses me placing a green glass bead in my right hand.

TG: It’s the one I made for you, I hope you love it!

super sweet that he did that!

TG: You make me nervous.

we sit on the couch

ME: Why?

TG: I’m not sure.

his head down, embarrassed.

ME: Still?

TG: Maybe more shy, I’m shy around you when I first see you.

he takes a deep breath

ME: OK.

I smile.

He tells me he was a few minutes late becuase he was getting a massage up the street at an Asian place.

TG: I’m not sure if they were any good”

ME: Why not?

TG: It really hurt.

ME: Really? What kind did you get?

TG: I thought Thai. I couldn’t get to China town to the one you were talking about.

ME: Well, sometimes massage hurts. Breaks up toxins.

TG: She climbed up on the table

ME: yea..

TG: and dug her elbow into me. I don’t think she knew what she was doing.

ME: Did she stand on you and hold onto some bars while walking on you?

TG: No, she just pushed really hard into one spot then another.

ME: Ouch!

TG: Yeah, then since I was waiting for you, she asked if I wanted 10 more minutes on my thighs.

ME: ok

TG: Then she turned me over and rubbed my thighs.

ME: ok?

TG: then she asked if I wanted 5 more minutes on my feet so I said ok… then she put her hand down my pants and…

ME: oh. ok.. and you let her?

TG: well..

ME: you didn’t say, “hey what happened to my feet?”

TG: no..

ME: so did you let her finish?

TG: uh, yea

ME:  Ok. Well, did it say “we don’t do that” on a sign or something?

TG: What sign?

ME: Was ther a sign that said “no special services? or no happy endings” or anything?

TG:  No, there wasn’t a sign. But I could go again,

he smiled as he gently kissed me

TG: and you seem like you could use it.

ME: I’m waiting to see if my period is going to start in a few minutes or not.

TG: Well, we better get it in quick!

we giggled. It kinda turned me on a bit…

ME: Well, you better be able to go again being that you’re young and you just had a great massage. with a full body release! and I didn’t even get my hands dirty!” I smirked as I climbed on top of him.

It’s kinda like living back as a 25 yr old, with the thought of  “this is as good as it will be so enjoy it while it’s here. If he had been my boyfriend with the expectation of a future and the containment of a conventional relationship.. then I might have been upset having some other woman touching my man but it was a story he was sharing with me and since we are just having fun, I feel I can her this stuff and also be totally honest with him. I asked him about this relationship with the guy he stays with while he’s in NY, if he’s ever sucked a guy’s dick, why he’s done modelling for gay magazines, how it makes him feel; we talked about how sometimes he’s so in his head that it makes it difficult to connect with him , like he’s a bit vacant. He told me that a girl broke up with him for that reason saying he was “unavailable”, we laughed about his high pitched voice and talked about how he cold “put some bass in it” and most of that was in the shower! Freeing! No holds, no expectation, the freedom to be me.

Reminds me of the first time I fell in love! I was 26 and he was 23? We met while we were both traveling in Australia and he asked me when I felt completely comfortable with him. What was the moment? I said it was when we were in Tasmania plaing cards in the tent. It was broad daylight and we were naked, cross legged playing gin or fish with other campers walking around and talking over us but we were just content, letting it all hang out!

Now I’m not saying that my brief time with Toes-Guy is really anything like that, but it does remind me of the unabridged version of me that I found back then. Toes-guy welcomes my questions and answers truthfully and honestly, even thanking me for bringing some things up for it helps him grow! It’s not a pickiness in the slightest, more a curiosity that I have or insecurities that he makes beautiful! Like him humoring my poignant talk of him calling himself a man instead of a boy. “If it makes you feel better, I’m a man” he said, smiling. “You ARE a man with super intelligence and passion that a boy doesn’t have. Be proud of that… AND it does make me feel better, yes! I bow my head. He has a degree in Bio-medical Engineering and one in Math, that’s a smart man with goals of family and invention while making this world a better, more ecofriendly,  24 hours a day, place. He loves watching our bodies move together and who wouldn’t love watching those stomach muscles tighten with each thrust! Hoo HA!! He lets me play and be free! I need that right now.. ok, always!! I have lots to learn from him, too.