Poilce-Guy Date 1

So after about 2 weeks of texting and phone tags, traveling and anticipation… we met up for a spontaneous swing dance lesson as I got back a day early from Baltimore! I almost didn’t call since he was getting back from NC and a 13 hour drive! We met only 11 block from my place and he paid the cover, telling the host to let me in, he’ll be on the dance floor!

He was kinda sparkly and giddy when I arrived! Still cute! Really good looking man! I might have been better watching him dance for a bit before jumping right on in. Lesson learned! “Give some space and observe the surroundings!”

Well, I was greeted with a huge smile, a hug and the “something curled up inside of you and died” breath! WOW! OK, so let’s dance! Swing isn’t too close and can be very fast.. let’s do it! OK.. well not only does he have ZERO rhythm but his feet go not know how to follow each other let alone the actaul steps. This is NOt good for me. we’re in a lesson and the man has to be the LEADER in this type of partnership. We ladies follow by the MAN giving clear signals to us as to what he wants us to do. As the woman, we are here to follow our man and look pretty! It’s showed by hand holds and body position. Now, I thought for sure he can do the basic swaying side to side, even if not mastering the chasse , the back step is crucial. I was a dancer  growing up and dancing and kissing are my 2 favorite things to do in this world! Oh, NO! In a partner dance the two must be paired well and I guess my mind trickles into the resilience  and resistance of fluid movement with him. OH NO!!! He’s so cute and we get along so far.. Oh, there’s that breath again!! Ew! Oh, NO!! He looks  like he’s scared but wants to have fun! That’s good! the willingness to enjoy even the journey. “I guess you can see I don’t have that great of rhythm”, he smiles bouncing and tripping over himself as almost in jest but it’s not! It’s not in jest! He’s hopeless on the dance floor. “Back Step. No matter what else you do if you do the back step, then you can always find your way back and then your partner knows what she’s supposed to do.” I say as I find myself leading and teaching him, almost scolding in a way or at least it could feel that way, I’m sure. The teacher keeps looking at us and screaming the “back-step, back-step” in our direction as to give me a “well, good luck with THAT one” kind of look!

After what seemed like forever.. the lesson was over and I lead us to the bar. After a drink or 2 his breath calmed down a bit but the buzz in him brought many hugs and too close,  sweet talking. It was now time to go and he walked me out, again, me leading the way.  when we arose from the underground piano bar, he held my hand as we glided down the street. Well, not really! It seemed as though his knees were tied together and only his feet moved. I had to take a look as he bobbed up and down, swaying with each clumsy step. OH NO!!! We got to my apt a mere 1 block away and his breath was back. I gave him a hug, he went in for the kiss. I gave him a hug and said goodnight and he tried for a kiss which landed on my cheek with another hug and before it got too weird, I was in. OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why?? It could’ve gone so well but the death breath, the opposition of rhythm and the stumble walking makes three strikes and I’m out! I wish I wasn’t so picky! Or vain!! Whyyyyyyyyyyyy???


Police Guy-3

Surprised him at the train station. Well, he said that there would be roses and trumpets playing when I got off the train but I showed up 4 hours early! He was supposed to be gone… surprise!! I had to track him down and ruin my plan by calling him to find him b/c walking all the way around the entire station didn’t seem to work. He’s CUTE! Got a bit of a belly which surprised me, being NYPD and all. Thought they were supposed to be really fit to catch the bad guys and all! Bad Boys, Bad Boys. whatcha gonna do?..

I was exhausted and only sort of cute from a 2 hour drive, a dash to make an earlier flight, a train and a walk around the station.. all before 11a. Still think I made a great impression! We had a cute chemistry standing outside a Pennsylvania Hotel watching people go by! He does not have good breath! Kinda like a stomach issue where something crawled up inside of him and died! Maybe he needs to eat something? He leaves tomorrow for a few days and my mom gets in today.. so a good ol’ fashioned getting-to-know-you will again have to wait! I can handle it!

Police-Guy 2

Police guy-2

In Virginia we spoke on the phone for about 2 hours! Easy.  He SOUNDS like he’s from NY, I know…but the accent was strong! Seems like a cool guy! He likes to go swing dancing. Says he’s not really that good but he’s taking lessons. That’s a positive note! Willingness to do something different? Check! I could talk to him for hours with a kind of “yes, and” feeling. Laughing comes easy! We seem to have some stuff  in common with relation to  family , life..(except that with his job, he’s not going to be moving to join the force somewhere else, I would think, even for me). Don’t know how motivated he is to go further in life or if he’s content being content where he is.

#8 Police-guy

He’s an NY police officer. NYPD!!  Been through 911. so there’s some stability there.. either that or a real nut job!! Does he have an angry streak? I tried to see him in person while he was guiding traffic for the Gay Pride Parade in the village! On 2nd thought… the village at gya pride? Think I’ll pass. Could’ve been nice to get a glimpse! He’s sent me a pic and he’s got a great smile and beautiful eyes! Let’s see when we actually meet..

He’s from the area, Queens and is living with his parents right now, saving money. I guess he’s done a good job since he is super excited to have just signed the loan docs for his first condo! Finally a great bathtub that he gets to pick out himself! The rewards of ownership!! I get that!

We seem to just “get” each other even in text where the interpretation can be lost on expectation! Our texts go on forever. He awakens me with either “Good morning you insanely good-looking person” or “hot person” or something like that! It’s a nice way to wake up after all. If you had to be called something, right? He likes that I’m positive! I agree with him 😉 He seems that way, too.

Going to Virginia for this job puts a damper on us actually getting a chance to meet. Oh, well, Guess when I get back but then he leaves as well…we’ll figure it out if it’s meant to happen!

#7 Prickly Gumba-guy

That’s the best way to explain him yet I don’t know if he’s Italian.A Gumba! I actaully gave him my number as he lives in Long Island and had agreed to come to the city to meet. We spoke a few times and I was impressed by the follow through (for the most part)..when he said he’d call, he did. Kudos for that. His voice was gruff and his humor almost obsolete. Like in a constant distraction of sorts? He told me of  his days in LA where he was to work at one of the most famous Talent Agencies but decided to come home after a pill addiction he had acquired.

When he arrived in his thin white t-shirt and bright blue jeans, hair newly cut just a few hours before… his palk-marked face and thinning doo was less than desirable. You know when you meet someone from the internet.. the pictures are not always a great representation of who they are. We walked to get a burger close by, which he gave me cash for as I had taken out my credit card since I didn’t seem him reaching quick enough. Thought I’d pay for my own. No need for him to feel led on by buying me lunch and it was the least I could since he had come all this way from the Island. We sat as long as the food was on the table and he was ready to head out. Not sure what he had in mind but sitting in one place was definitely not it. He wanted to visit a music store or walk through a “cool shop” since he was in the city and not for work. Turns out he’s like a talent manager for Lawyers… cool way of explaining it, I thought.

I was squeezing him in-between appointments tough would have definitely asked him to come along if there was interest on my part. We even spoke of that while he was on the train. After a few minutes of aimless walking he asked to go to a park and fortunately for my all-day walking agenda I knew of a close one. We sat there feeling the wind pick up as the rain was threatening for hours. About 15 minutes after we sat he was ready to move again. “Coffee”, he said. “Think I need some coffee, it was a long day yesterday.” And coffee it was a block away. I thought chivalry was ensuing but instead it was a bad ear that placed him curb-side as we walked. He took his sunglasses of so we could see each other and his eyes were sweet, almost innocent then I accidently brushed against the prickles of his newly shaved arms and noticed again, his red dotted neck and chest from the super sexy shaved look and the thought of gagging was apparent. I had about 30 minutes to walk 1 block so we headed in that direction. (I count Avenues as 3 minutes and Streets as 1 minute walking time) so we bid our good-byes after he suggested he could wait for me to finish..got out of that one as the day before the appointment took 2 hours and I had yet one more to get to. I suggested he go to the village to find the music stores he so desperately was looking for and with a strange one-armed hug and a missed cheek kiss. I was off.

About an hour passed and I received a text “Hi! How did the audition go? and about 10 minutes later.. “hi! How were the auditions?

2 hours later when I received them as I was walking from one to the other and didn’t check my phone, I responded “They were great, thanks. Hope you found the music store.”

His response about 30 minutes after, “I’m back home. Having dinner with a friend”… less than 5 minutes, “whatcha  up to?”

Now I was walking with a beautiful man at this point, the one from yesterday that had met me after my last audition and we were on a ferry by this time so my mind was not with the gumba-guy AT ALL. I responded when I saw it about an hour later.. “dinner w. great cousin”, which yes, was a lie but I was supposed to have dinner with her and she called to cancel so my day was free to roam.

“Ah. the lady that called? was a few minutes later followed by.. “hello?” at about 7p

At 852am I received, “Good morning! Ignoring me? which I was not around my phone for as I was still in bed thinking of my wonderful evening with Toes-guy.

At 1010a another from Gumba, “I think I;m going to go with someone else. I thought you had a cute face but you seem to drifty and non commital for me. I am looking for some one dedicated and set. I don’t even think you would act like a true friend. good Luck.”

I which my response (30 minutes later) was.. “sure. Thanks and good luck to you.”

“See what I mean. You’re flakey. Bye.” was the last message from him… I thought… but 2.5 hours later… “By the way. Just a little advice coming from someone in talent. Don’t go to auditions in skirts like yesterday if you want to work. You’re not trying out for a 16 year olds part. Put on some tight jeans and look profound.”

My skirt, btw was a knee length, black , cotton skirt. The same one I got a callback in from the audition I went on in the AM. So he basically met me, dated, me, had a relationship with me and then broke up with me, critiqued me and gave me advice all in one day. It took a bit of effort to not respond “you’re a prickly, palk-marked ex-drug addict, gumba that I have no interest in. I’m not a flake and have a very nice career, thank you very much”.. but what’s the point? I already have 1 stalker-ex that I DID actaully date over a year ago.. I don’t need one on this coast that I barely even met.

EW!! Creepy!! NEXT!!

Date #6? App-guy and the MDI…

Last night I had no tongues thrust into my mouth. I didn’t even know that that would put someone in the forefront but with such low standards, I guess, that makes a big impression? We met at 67th and CPW and with basket in one arm and 2 bottles of wine in the other, he greeted me with a huge smile. His face was long, very long and his brow sweaty. We walked to a clearing nestled between trees overlooking a lake with row boats strewn about. He’s from the Bay area and came out here for college and just stayed.  We sipped white wine, ate hummus, mozzarella and some of the best chocolate soft cookies I had in a very long time. On the double blanket he brought as to keep us dry from any impeding moisture coming from beneath, we were captivated by a men’s group gathering a few trees over. Encircled they chanted.. “I am a fucking jerk! I am a fucking jerk!” over and over after an almost spoken word poetry jam with mostly 30’s white men. Is it a cult? A men’s empowerment group? Standing around a single candle burning in silent prayer? Bowing to their God? The “producer” and I are fascinated by their vigor! Is there a second chapter that has come to join or are they in hopes of being recognized? We talked about theater, well he talked about theater and his adventures in producing. He has developed an App for women and is working on getting it out to the public so women can use it to find out their “color chart”. After he gives them out for free there will be a version that can be purchased so women can put in their specifics and find out what colors are best for them and then what stores are carrying those colors at the moment. Seems pretty cool. His mind works in both arts and sciences. So… “App-guy” and I pack it in after dark as the inquisition was growing. Quickly the blankets were folded and trash gathered up as the “man-cult” appeared to be coming to an end and we had to find out what was going on. We skulked toward the group as to not interrupt their flow. Quietly we lurched over until there was a break in the pack. I sidestepped politely over to them and complimented their intention. “You seem to be doing a good thing here” I smiled.  “I’m not sure what you are doing exactly but it seems it’s for the greater good, I continued. “ The App-guy, waiting a few steps back until the coast was clear. One of the 2 said few words and abruptly returned to the group as if we had intruded on his secret, the other stayed back to acknowledge us and the work that his group are doing here once a month with regular  weekly meetings or smaller more concentrated gatherings. “Men empowerment groups, for all I know it might be a cult”, I chuckled, “but you seems to be producing some great results”. The guy agreed and said that Producer-guy might want to look into it. He gave us a website.. MDIsuccess.com and we were on our way still awe-struck by the thought. Well, it makes sense I guess, that women are more likely joining other women to empower themselves or to find play-dates, relationship advice, group therapy, etc.. so I’m proud that there are groups out there for men. Well, proud might not be the correct word but fulfillediness was the feeling. Glad to know that there are groups out there for men and that some are even taking advantage of them. Producer-guy was more mocking than impressed but he’s a guy, right? He walked me to the bathroom a few blocks away after I turned down his offer to use his since we were only a few feet away. We ended the night with a phone number exchange and a hug. No tongue thrust in my mouth makes him the front runner for sure. Strange that my standards are skewed here in the city. He called today to thank me for last night and that he wants to go out again. Definitely worth a second encounter.

Date #5 Rambles-guy

The walk began at 72nd St and CPW on a cool-ish evening as he was to bring his dog, Luigi along but he was now back at joint custody, mom’s house? They are apart but still share the dog.. ok.. so no Luigi.  Strolling through the Rambles he told me the history of the gay-sex haven. He was a reddish dark blond man of uneven proportions. Legs shorter than body and larger head for his size? Good looking nonetheless. Our banter was quick and our humor matched. We sat on a bench and he told me of the time his father caught him masturbating when he had come from college one break. It was his “most private thing he was willing to admit” as stated from the okc website. Well, hi nice to meetcha! After a few more bench stories, the breeze was setting in and we were heading off. As we reached the stairs he stopped, grabbed my head and planted one right on me. It wasn’t really requested and came as a bit of a shock to me. I recovered quickly and we continued on up the stairs. I didn’t really have anything to say about it so we pretended as if it didn’t happen? He had made dinner plans but wanted to show me his building’s window from where he put his bed through the glass and newly purchased custom blinds.  I kinda think he wanted me to walk him home. I don’t really remember what he does but I know that with one more kiss, him telling me, “you have my number, we should do this again. I had a good time.” So off I went to find some grub and maybe a new adventure. Thanks, Rambling man.

Date #3 and #4 Tongue-guy and Massage-guy rolled into 1!

The restaurant was undetectable from the street. A hidden treasure buried underground. I recognized him and remembered that I wasn’t really too interested though he was better looking than his pictures displayed. “I almost didn’t come”, he revealed. “You wouldn’t give me your number so I thought you wouldn’t show and I’ve been stood up before so I almost didn’t take the chance.” Wow, what a first impression. The waitress knew him as he apparently lives up the street and brings people here as it’s dark and cool? He kept wanting to find a cool table. I needed a sweater after a bit as the breeze was coming up from the waterfall stream that ran through the cavern. He ordered for us, 1 drink each and appetizers of his choice, changing the sauces as he didn’t care for spicy stuff. I wasn’t impressed though I didn’t have to think about anything so that was fine by me. I found out that he was put into the Spiderman movie by Sam Reimi when he was doing camera for the today show and still on the clock! Apparently he was going to do whatever Reimi asked and it was only going to take 1 take to do it in.. “Don’t worry, Sam. I got this!,” he boasted. “He had never been talked to that way but I was going to show him how we did things in New York.” Wow! Uh, huh. “I host a TV show and am a cameraman for many shows,” he continued on. Once it was revealed I was an actor, the name dropping continued at ad nauseam. “So what do you think so far?” asking.. “about what?” I replied. “About me! What do you think? How do you think it’s going?” Well, you’re better looking than your pictures, I smirked. “Come on, you know within 2 minutes of meeting someone if you’re interested, so?” he continued. “I’m not always that certain, sorry. Sometimes someone grows on me that I didn’t think was going to and other times the really hot one becomes less hot,” I answered. “So why did you go out with me, then?”, he asked. “Honestly? You were persistent”, I answered. Ya? Really? Not cause of what I looked like, huh?” he said in disbelief. “OK, I’ll take that.” After a few seconds of silence, he continued…“I can’t stand it when a woman’s not intimate”, he revealed. “What kind of intimate? There’s many forms of intimacy”, I explained. “You know when you told me the story about your ex asking you to hold hands..” I nodded, “that showed me that you were able to be intimate,” he continued. “huh, this is going to be interesting, I thought. 2 words make me laugh no matter what… 1 of them is Whore!” We were discussing my theory of the Hole. That most every man is in search of a hole they can plug. He was fascinated by this and went on for a while about how not all guys are like that but funny I would mention it.  Continuing with, “And one thing I can’t stand is….” Yes?” “Oh, you know.. the worst!” “What? I don’t have any idea,” shaking my head. “You know, when a girl gives you… oh, you know… the cheek! That’s the worst. It’s just rude!” he continued.  He sat staring for a few moments leaning in, said, “I’m trying to come up with a nickname for ya.” “Pretty early for that, don’t you think? What have you come up with so far?” I responded. “I’m thinking either… The Hole.” (Silence. ) “or.. Sexy Jew Broad, eh? Bet you never been called that before, right?” “Well, I’m gonna say ‘no’”, shaking my head in disbelief, smiling. “You’ll probably not get too far with the first name.” I continued, eyebrows raised. After he finished his and some of my portion of the food we were to share, the bill was paid and we were outta there cause he wanted ice cream and I was going to join him. Oh, well, the night was early and I had walked 25 blocks to get there.. so why not? We walked which was apparently his neighborhood (guess if he was going to get stood up, it might as well be in his hood). He paid for the ice cream with a credit card and then he wanted to get his dog and take him for a walk. I waited downstairs for them to come back down and we were off. There was an illegal dog-run near the river where your dog had to be hoisted over a fence but there were more than a couple running around at 9p. We jumped over as the cool breeze kicked in. “Touch my face!” he desired. That’s one of my favorite things.. when my woman touches my face. Your hands are cold and I’m hot so if you touch me you’ll get warmer,” actually came out of his mouth and I don’t think it was a line. I think he was just that corny! Then he kissed me. On the mouth. With full tongue thrusting into my mouth. His words popped into my brain as I almost gave him the cheek while he drew me closer into him… then it was like he thought we were a couple! Holding me, kissing my neck, my shoulder, caressing my hands, putting them to his face (probably to cool himself off). After more minutes he came out with…”you know, you’re more than just a hole”. “Ya, I know this. It’s you guys that have to figure that out.” I replied. After a few minutes of trying to get Teddy, his Terrier back over the fence, I said that we should walk back so I could get going. Now, did this guy want to walk me back to my place 30 blocks away? No way! He did offer to put me in a cab, which was sweet, though since he had no cash I didn’t see him paying for it and it was such a beautiful night I wanted to walk back. I suggested that he at least walk me to my Avenue which was 1 over and that he was almost willing to burden his pot belly with. So Teddy, the tongue and I walked holding hands down the street, no harm no foul. Then he had reached his limit and was ready to head back in his own direction. “Come on, give me your tongue” he pleaded as he kept thrusting his out of his mouth into the open air as to search for a hole to rest it in. “Come on, give me that tongue” he continued as I broke away, thanking him for the night  with a less than pleasant taste in my mouth from both him and the prior ice cream residue. “I don’t have your number, why don’t you text me when you get home and that way I’ll have it so we can go out again”, he came up with. “Ya, ok, thanks again”, were my departing words as we went our separate ways. I found myself on the steps of Lincoln Center with a toy dinosaur in one hand and my camera perched in the other. As I walked past I was stopped by the words “Bula Vinaka” glowing from the steps in a soon to find out, rotating, light installment. As I stood eyes glazing over waiting for the Welcome in Fijian to reappear, I noticed a woman to my right also kneeled down waiting for her word to show itself again. We had a laugh as our eyes darted back and forth over the hundreds of randomly, flashing words “Welcome” every language imaginable disappeared from sight. 5 rotations came and went; some faster than others and the odds of seeing Bula Vinaka long enough to spot it, set the dinosaur down and take the picture were knowingly becoming scarce. A few minutes later and another had joined. I thought they were together as they spoke and even hugged. Another 10 minutes of the now 3 of us attempting to predict where the words were going to come up next, if at all were enough for her to take and she sweetly smiled, hugged each of us and departed. He stayed back to aid me in my now 30 minute quest. She returned a minute later with a big smile and a CD for each of us to take home. She was a breath of fresh air, obviously a tourist. So now I stand with my dinosaur and this strange tall bald man attempting to snap pictures before I gave up altogether. He snapped a few “Welcome to Lincoln Center” pictures with his camera phone as my had had enough. Walking in the same direction we did so together. He’s a masseuse and an actor out here living on the Upper West Side which doubles as his massage studio. He had just been to the Ballet and was on his way to the 59th street station. We had common ground so we kept talking past the station and closer to where I lived. “Wanna just get a drink?” I suggested. And we settled in to a lavish Thai Bar with leather upholstery on the bathroom doors. The bar keeps were adorn with tiny hats holding up their buns and sexy stocking under their unique dress. He, being a masseuse saw my furrowed brow and began to touch my shoulders. His hands were strong and his eyes stayed glued to mine even when my closed from the painful sensations he pushed into what are known as my “steel cables”, the point between the neck and shoulder. “You need to come over so I can help you with this, maybe an hour or two” he claimed. “I’ve just had a long week so far”, I responded, “maybe some time.” He leaned over and took a bite out of my shoulder and that kind of woke me up a bit. I know he works with his hands but his mouth, too? We’ve only known each a few blocks and he knew I was just with someone else. He invited me on a boat the next day with some friends of his, which I graciously declined as I wanted to see my grandmother’s cousin and with our schedules.. this might be the only day.. also a nice way to get out of the boat thing. I mean, really? I meet a guy walking down the street and the next day go out on a boat with him and friends and what? Maybe make it back the next day? It seemed legit but my fears, we’ll call them or common sense kicked in and he walked me home. He has a friend that lives across the street from me and as we hugged goodbye and I thanked him for walking me home… bam! A tongue in my mouth! Really?? Maybe the difference is the guys in NYC are a bit more forward with their tongues!! I Googled him from his number since I gave him my email address to send me the dinosaur pics with on the steps and it turns out.. he IS a masseuse and he DID act… in Porn! Don’t think my body didn’t think twice about returning his email. At least I would get a rub down with my rub down J