Just got an email from Straps-guy asking to have dinner since he’s “back from Mumbai”. Ew!! Haven’t heard from him in about a month or more…
I did reply, with gross saliva building in my mouth like I was keeping myself from throwing up.. “gonna pass, thanks though.” It’s all I could muster up…. blech! they always come back… especially when you don’t want them to.
It’s nice to see him . My body gets a bit moist as I know he’s on his way. I wait outside but have to pee bacly so Igo next door and notice that bright red blood is tormenting me. This is the WRONG time for my period to come early!! Shit! shit, shit,shit!!
He’s made it in and is standing at my door when I finally get up the stairs. I’m not sure how I feel about this.. Maybe we can go for a walk? He closes his eyes and kisses me placing a green glass bead in my right hand.
TG: It’s the one I made for you, I hope you love it!
super sweet that he did that!
TG: You make me nervous.
we sit on the couch
ME: Why?
TG: I’m not sure.
his head down, embarrassed.
ME: Still?
TG: Maybe more shy, I’m shy around you when I first see you.
he takes a deep breath
ME: OK.
I smile.
He tells me he was a few minutes late becuase he was getting a massage up the street at an Asian place.
TG: I’m not sure if they were any good”
ME: Why not?
TG: It really hurt.
ME: Really? What kind did you get?
TG: I thought Thai. I couldn’t get to China town to the one you were talking about.
ME: Well, sometimes massage hurts. Breaks up toxins.
TG: She climbed up on the table
ME: yea..
TG: and dug her elbow into me. I don’t think she knew what she was doing.
ME: Did she stand on you and hold onto some bars while walking on you?
TG: No, she just pushed really hard into one spot then another.
ME: Ouch!
TG: Yeah, then since I was waiting for you, she asked if I wanted 10 more minutes on my thighs.
ME: ok
TG: Then she turned me over and rubbed my thighs.
ME: ok?
TG: then she asked if I wanted 5 more minutes on my feet so I said ok… then she put her hand down my pants and…
ME: oh. ok.. and you let her?
TG: well..
ME: you didn’t say, “hey what happened to my feet?”
TG: no..
ME: so did you let her finish?
TG: uh, yea
ME: Ok. Well, did it say “we don’t do that” on a sign or something?
TG: What sign?
ME: Was ther a sign that said “no special services? or no happy endings” or anything?
TG: No, there wasn’t a sign. But I could go again,
he smiled as he gently kissed me
TG: and you seem like you could use it.
ME: I’m waiting to see if my period is going to start in a few minutes or not.
TG: Well, we better get it in quick!
we giggled. It kinda turned me on a bit…
ME: Well, you better be able to go again being that you’re young and you just had a great massage. with a full body release! and I didn’t even get my hands dirty!” I smirked as I climbed on top of him.
It’s kinda like living back as a 25 yr old, with the thought of “this is as good as it will be so enjoy it while it’s here. If he had been my boyfriend with the expectation of a future and the containment of a conventional relationship.. then I might have been upset having some other woman touching my man but it was a story he was sharing with me and since we are just having fun, I feel I can her this stuff and also be totally honest with him. I asked him about this relationship with the guy he stays with while he’s in NY, if he’s ever sucked a guy’s dick, why he’s done modelling for gay magazines, how it makes him feel; we talked about how sometimes he’s so in his head that it makes it difficult to connect with him , like he’s a bit vacant. He told me that a girl broke up with him for that reason saying he was “unavailable”, we laughed about his high pitched voice and talked about how he cold “put some bass in it” and most of that was in the shower! Freeing! No holds, no expectation, the freedom to be me.
Reminds me of the first time I fell in love! I was 26 and he was 23? We met while we were both traveling in Australia and he asked me when I felt completely comfortable with him. What was the moment? I said it was when we were in Tasmania plaing cards in the tent. It was broad daylight and we were naked, cross legged playing gin or fish with other campers walking around and talking over us but we were just content, letting it all hang out!
Now I’m not saying that my brief time with Toes-Guy is really anything like that, but it does remind me of the unabridged version of me that I found back then. Toes-guy welcomes my questions and answers truthfully and honestly, even thanking me for bringing some things up for it helps him grow! It’s not a pickiness in the slightest, more a curiosity that I have or insecurities that he makes beautiful! Like him humoring my poignant talk of him calling himself a man instead of a boy. “If it makes you feel better, I’m a man” he said, smiling. “You ARE a man with super intelligence and passion that a boy doesn’t have. Be proud of that… AND it does make me feel better, yes! I bow my head. He has a degree in Bio-medical Engineering and one in Math, that’s a smart man with goals of family and invention while making this world a better, more ecofriendly, 24 hours a day, place. He loves watching our bodies move together and who wouldn’t love watching those stomach muscles tighten with each thrust! Hoo HA!! He lets me play and be free! I need that right now.. ok, always!! I have lots to learn from him, too.
His nose is slanted, his teeth look like he’s English, his eyes are kind, his tongue has been nowhere near my mouth and he’s quick enough to get me. There’s something good here..
I misjudged the time and was of course.. 25 minutes late, huffing and puffing through the heat of Central Park. He’s dressed from work, reading outside and calm as could’ve hope for. He razzes me for walking not riding the subway and not giving out my number which is still a “rule” I have for the most part.
He brought me a glass of white wine while we sat under a tree outside of Central Park’s Boathouse and the rain fell from the heavens! Like buckets were being poured on a spill to wash away evidence. It was BEAUTIFUL and unexpected. The thunder shook the windows as we all scurried to take cover in the now exceptionally crowded bar waiting for the calm to reappear.
The clouds parted and we walked through the Rambles, which memories of brought shivers to the nape of my neck and a knowing smile to my cheek. He’s come from work ; blue dress shirt and slacks seem natural on him. We ordered another glass of wine to complement the brie I stopped for extending my tardiness and into the Delacorte theater we went. He got tickets from his work . Which means he has a bit of clout.. or no one else wants to see the show. A nice touch nonetheless.
Introducing me to some business associates as we took our seats in the front row of the middle, second section, I felt like a grown up in a world where I belonged. I snapped a picture for which I was reprimanded at intermission being asked to erase it and show her the evidence. “It’s of the moon” I explained and with a twinkle, was pardoned. I wasn’t really lying.. the moon WAS in the photo. Tee Hee!!
We enjoyed each other’s playful banter and walked slowly back to the West-side where we’d go our separate ways. And no tongue in my mouth, which is a wonderful way to end a magical evening… just a nice hug. Lovely!
I received an email from him asking “what happened to you.”
I simply replied.. “I walked home and moved on!” Guess that was enough! Great!! See ya!!
So after about 2 weeks of texting and phone tags, traveling and anticipation… we met up for a spontaneous swing dance lesson as I got back a day early from Baltimore! I almost didn’t call since he was getting back from NC and a 13 hour drive! We met only 11 block from my place and he paid the cover, telling the host to let me in, he’ll be on the dance floor!
He was kinda sparkly and giddy when I arrived! Still cute! Really good looking man! I might have been better watching him dance for a bit before jumping right on in. Lesson learned! “Give some space and observe the surroundings!”
Well, I was greeted with a huge smile, a hug and the “something curled up inside of you and died” breath! WOW! OK, so let’s dance! Swing isn’t too close and can be very fast.. let’s do it! OK.. well not only does he have ZERO rhythm but his feet go not know how to follow each other let alone the actaul steps. This is NOt good for me. we’re in a lesson and the man has to be the LEADER in this type of partnership. We ladies follow by the MAN giving clear signals to us as to what he wants us to do. As the woman, we are here to follow our man and look pretty! It’s showed by hand holds and body position. Now, I thought for sure he can do the basic swaying side to side, even if not mastering the chasse , the back step is crucial. I was a dancer growing up and dancing and kissing are my 2 favorite things to do in this world! Oh, NO! In a partner dance the two must be paired well and I guess my mind trickles into the resilience and resistance of fluid movement with him. OH NO!!! He’s so cute and we get along so far.. Oh, there’s that breath again!! Ew! Oh, NO!! He looks like he’s scared but wants to have fun! That’s good! the willingness to enjoy even the journey. “I guess you can see I don’t have that great of rhythm”, he smiles bouncing and tripping over himself as almost in jest but it’s not! It’s not in jest! He’s hopeless on the dance floor. “Back Step. No matter what else you do if you do the back step, then you can always find your way back and then your partner knows what she’s supposed to do.” I say as I find myself leading and teaching him, almost scolding in a way or at least it could feel that way, I’m sure. The teacher keeps looking at us and screaming the “back-step, back-step” in our direction as to give me a “well, good luck with THAT one” kind of look!
After what seemed like forever.. the lesson was over and I lead us to the bar. After a drink or 2 his breath calmed down a bit but the buzz in him brought many hugs and too close, sweet talking. It was now time to go and he walked me out, again, me leading the way. when we arose from the underground piano bar, he held my hand as we glided down the street. Well, not really! It seemed as though his knees were tied together and only his feet moved. I had to take a look as he bobbed up and down, swaying with each clumsy step. OH NO!!! We got to my apt a mere 1 block away and his breath was back. I gave him a hug, he went in for the kiss. I gave him a hug and said goodnight and he tried for a kiss which landed on my cheek with another hug and before it got too weird, I was in. OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why?? It could’ve gone so well but the death breath, the opposition of rhythm and the stumble walking makes three strikes and I’m out! I wish I wasn’t so picky! Or vain!! Whyyyyyyyyyyyy???
He was about 30 minutes late and sweaty as all get out! Drippin’ beads of moisture and apologetic even after setting up the whole “date”. He’s an artist here in the city. A painter.
I’m literally watching him wipe a fountain of sweat from beneath his dark locks. The gap in his front teeth gives him a boyish charm. He used to be a firefighter but 911 kicked that out of him. Apparently a failed marriage and “meds” have brought him to this point. The conversation turns slightly heavier than one would suggest for a first “meeting” but he seems to enjoy himself suggesting another bar after the sushi experience. Not the most open with experimentation though with a bit of nudging a willingness peaks out. Rigid? Scared.
Off to the dive bar a few blocks away, I buy him a beer. He tells me he’s having a wonderful time with a look of surprise on his face making me smile inside with a calming giggle…
I think there’s too much here for me to have to dig through.. Gonna have to pass. Next!
I get a picture text form him with some sort of balls replacing his eyes?
And THIS is why I don’t give out my number!!!
Out of the BLUE!!
I get an email… “Wanna Fuck?”d
Really? I didn’t respond though I wanted to say… yes, but not you!
what a douche!
Surprised him at the train station. Well, he said that there would be roses and trumpets playing when I got off the train but I showed up 4 hours early! He was supposed to be gone… surprise!! I had to track him down and ruin my plan by calling him to find him b/c walking all the way around the entire station didn’t seem to work. He’s CUTE! Got a bit of a belly which surprised me, being NYPD and all. Thought they were supposed to be really fit to catch the bad guys and all! Bad Boys, Bad Boys. whatcha gonna do?..
I was exhausted and only sort of cute from a 2 hour drive, a dash to make an earlier flight, a train and a walk around the station.. all before 11a. Still think I made a great impression! We had a cute chemistry standing outside a Pennsylvania Hotel watching people go by! He does not have good breath! Kinda like a stomach issue where something crawled up inside of him and died! Maybe he needs to eat something? He leaves tomorrow for a few days and my mom gets in today.. so a good ol’ fashioned getting-to-know-you will again have to wait! I can handle it!
datinglatonyc 