#7 Prickly Gumba-guy

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That’s the best way to explain him yet I don’t know if he’s Italian.A Gumba! I actaully gave him my number as he lives in Long Island and had agreed to come to the city to meet. We spoke a few times and I was impressed by the follow through (for the most part)..when he said he’d call, he did. Kudos for that. His voice was gruff and his humor almost obsolete. Like in a constant distraction of sorts? He told me of  his days in LA where he was to work at one of the most famous Talent Agencies but decided to come home after a pill addiction he had acquired.

When he arrived in his thin white t-shirt and bright blue jeans, hair newly cut just a few hours before… his palk-marked face and thinning doo was less than desirable. You know when you meet someone from the internet.. the pictures are not always a great representation of who they are. We walked to get a burger close by, which he gave me cash for as I had taken out my credit card since I didn’t seem him reaching quick enough. Thought I’d pay for my own. No need for him to feel led on by buying me lunch and it was the least I could since he had come all this way from the Island. We sat as long as the food was on the table and he was ready to head out. Not sure what he had in mind but sitting in one place was definitely not it. He wanted to visit a music store or walk through a “cool shop” since he was in the city and not for work. Turns out he’s like a talent manager for Lawyers… cool way of explaining it, I thought.

I was squeezing him in-between appointments tough would have definitely asked him to come along if there was interest on my part. We even spoke of that while he was on the train. After a few minutes of aimless walking he asked to go to a park and fortunately for my all-day walking agenda I knew of a close one. We sat there feeling the wind pick up as the rain was threatening for hours. About 15 minutes after we sat he was ready to move again. “Coffee”, he said. “Think I need some coffee, it was a long day yesterday.” And coffee it was a block away. I thought chivalry was ensuing but instead it was a bad ear that placed him curb-side as we walked. He took his sunglasses of so we could see each other and his eyes were sweet, almost innocent then I accidently brushed against the prickles of his newly shaved arms and noticed again, his red dotted neck and chest from the super sexy shaved look and the thought of gagging was apparent. I had about 30 minutes to walk 1 block so we headed in that direction. (I count Avenues as 3 minutes and Streets as 1 minute walking time) so we bid our good-byes after he suggested he could wait for me to finish..got out of that one as the day before the appointment took 2 hours and I had yet one more to get to. I suggested he go to the village to find the music stores he so desperately was looking for and with a strange one-armed hug and a missed cheek kiss. I was off.

About an hour passed and I received a text “Hi! How did the audition go? and about 10 minutes later.. “hi! How were the auditions?

2 hours later when I received them as I was walking from one to the other and didn’t check my phone, I responded “They were great, thanks. Hope you found the music store.”

His response about 30 minutes after, “I’m back home. Having dinner with a friend”… less than 5 minutes, “whatcha  up to?”

Now I was walking with a beautiful man at this point, the one from yesterday that had met me after my last audition and we were on a ferry by this time so my mind was not with the gumba-guy AT ALL. I responded when I saw it about an hour later.. “dinner w. great cousin”, which yes, was a lie but I was supposed to have dinner with her and she called to cancel so my day was free to roam.

“Ah. the lady that called? was a few minutes later followed by.. “hello?” at about 7p

At 852am I received, “Good morning! Ignoring me? which I was not around my phone for as I was still in bed thinking of my wonderful evening with Toes-guy.

At 1010a another from Gumba, “I think I;m going to go with someone else. I thought you had a cute face but you seem to drifty and non commital for me. I am looking for some one dedicated and set. I don’t even think you would act like a true friend. good Luck.”

I which my response (30 minutes later) was.. “sure. Thanks and good luck to you.”

“See what I mean. You’re flakey. Bye.” was the last message from him… I thought… but 2.5 hours later… “By the way. Just a little advice coming from someone in talent. Don’t go to auditions in skirts like yesterday if you want to work. You’re not trying out for a 16 year olds part. Put on some tight jeans and look profound.”

My skirt, btw was a knee length, black , cotton skirt. The same one I got a callback in from the audition I went on in the AM. So he basically met me, dated, me, had a relationship with me and then broke up with me, critiqued me and gave me advice all in one day. It took a bit of effort to not respond “you’re a prickly, palk-marked ex-drug addict, gumba that I have no interest in. I’m not a flake and have a very nice career, thank you very much”.. but what’s the point? I already have 1 stalker-ex that I DID actaully date over a year ago.. I don’t need one on this coast that I barely even met.

EW!! Creepy!! NEXT!!

toe guy, too

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I awoke this morning with a small void as he is now in Miami. We spent most of yesterday walking around the city after my appointments and a brief  “meet” with Long Island-guy. I talked him into, with little persuasion, to find me at the juice place in Union Square. He had been clothes shopping and looked amazing in kick around clothes as the day before had left me wondering if he was a stylishly challenged?Though we were both in work out gear. BUT… SO HOT!!! Holy Crap!! So Union square it was and a kiss “hello” kickstarted our mood for the day. So comfortable with him that it’s uneasy at moments. Sometimes I look at him and think.. “holy crap, you’re so young” and others… just feeling the strange, intense connection. He’s searching for something… balance, closure, stability, peace, calm… the ability to “let go”. We take a peek in a few clothing stores on our way down to the Wall Street Pier. He’s humoring my desire to ride the free ferry to Brooklyn again today. He wants to chill at my place, get out of his constricting shoes. He takes his shirt off as we walk down Broadway and if he wasn’t a model formally for Abercrombie and Fitch, I might have minded. did I mention he was HOT? Phew~! some strange looks were given and even a comment from a man “It’s a perfectly good shirt, why’d he have to take it off?” as he walked by us. I smiled. It was a very sticky day. Clouds threatening to open up and pour upon us. Our energies didn’t match today and were the opposite of the day before. I was bubbly and energetic, he was contemplative and stoic. We stopped in Dumbo for some of the best ice cream ever!! Wicked (anchiote chili, mexican-chocolate) and Salt and Pepper (sea salt, dark chocolate chips and black pepper). He indulged my craving and we were back on the boat. I wanted to see Williamsburg and he still desired the calm comforts of my apartment, which I was leery of as I wasn’t ready to change my energy nor bring someone back my home.

Toes-guy

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I had just been disappointed by my first meal in NYC up the street when though I had changed my mind about taking my poor excuse for Empanadas to go they arrive in a 2 individually wrapped pockets thrown into a plastic/aluminum container wrapped in a brown paper bag. Two people had walked out since they never came back to take their order and I almost left without paying the bill but my conscience allowed me to not leave a tip. So unfulfilled, I walked toward my favorite juice place on the corner when I was stopped by a picture in the window of what looked like a bagel stuffed with meat? I had to read the publicity blurbs on this Israeli joint write-up taped to the window. Quietly he stood next to me and  explained what was looking at. He opened the door and said, “I’m going in.. you might want to try it out.” Holy crap this guy is HOT!! Hesitantly, I followed as the door almost shut. He sat facing the window and offered me a seat even if I didn’t eat or that he would share one with me. A Burekas, if I recall. This chef was famous for making the traditional puff savory pastry. I was wearing sweats rolled up to my knees, a tank top and my black baseball hat covering the almost sticky ponytail from the yoga class I had come from. He was in black biking, full length pants and thin white t-shirt, large backpack and those new, not-so-attractive, toes shoes people are wearing so it feels like you’re barefoot, though protected. Neither of us were dressed to meet new people, in my opinion. He had just come from doing handstands in the park. He stared at me with his “once shy” hazel-green eyes as we shared a spinach and goat cheese filo bagel-looking pastry as I wasn’t hungry from the less than sub-par lunch I selected. We walked to the juice place and he bought us a jusice to share;  carrot, pineapple, ginger. We walked out and he blurted out that he had a couple of hours to kill and since I was just going back to my place to shower off the grime, we took a turn toward the East River.

He is an engineer that was making plastic bottles in Belgium for the last 6 weeks until he decided it wasn’t for him. He was traveling here to visit a friend and ended up having dinner with Congressmen the night before. He is learning to play the single Djembe and blows glass jewelry. With vast knowledge and a wide vocabulary, I somehow feel at ease by his student-like quest for more. His parents hippies from Wisconsin and Israel. We speak about religious theories and acid trips. Staring at one another without breaking eye contact, the intimacy that is attached… He massages my feet, which I felt at ease even as he slips his fingers between my toes explaining the importance of toe separation and posture. I allow this. I massage his shoulders while we lay our heads on his bag. He gives me a book to read while we sit listening to the water break on the ships coming into the port. the time is slipping by and leaving color on my body to prove it.

It is the longest day of the year. He lies his head in my lap as I massage his neck with the uneasy feeling of “letting go” he struggles with. Giving over or up control still lies within him as most of us. He wants to dance with me sometime. He’s one of the most stunningly handsome guys I’ve seen in a long time, with an interesting quality behind it. Like the shy kid that was a late bloomer and didn’t realize he could get whatever he wanted by being genuine and gorgeous. Pulling at his hair and reddening his chest, he relaxes. I see it in his breathing, feel it in his pulse. Trust. Allow. It’s a more loving massage than the touch before. He feels it. I want him to kiss me. It’s getting late and my date for the evening has just texted to cancel on me. We walk off the grass and gaze at the Battleship “Intrepid” before heading to find a bite to eat. It’s been almost 6 hours since we met. He’s off to meet a friend and I to shower off the dirty. We find an Ethiopian spot which was not the sushi he desired but a new experience nonetheless.

We take a picture of the moment and the time comes to walk our separate ways. Passion pours through our full bodied hug. Tomorrow may bring us together again as he wants to repay the oil-less massage. Maybe a free ride on the EastRiver Ferry and a stroll in Williamsburg before he jets back to Miami to help his sister move her furniture back home. Until then.. I shake my head… such different places in our lives and yet some of the same. Wish he wasn’t 13 years younger than me, though maybe I just have a lot to learn.

me or her?

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so confused by this one… spotted a cutie at the bar and my new “friend”,  “D”, which I met last week and was doing her best to be the “wing-woman”.. little does she know I don’t need one. Nonetheless, we were at her friend’s bar so she could get free drinks and see a guy that she has the hots for. While there on the UES, she asked the bar-tender-friend about the guy I noticed. “Single” he responded and I proceeded to occasionally gaze upon but not stare at.. said Wisconsin guy. He eventually came over to talk to us with some coaxing from the bartender and before I knew it.. I was taking a short walk with him to his favorite restaurant, Sealenatella Ristorante, so he could show me the sights and smells of fine dining. “Dive bars but a snob for dining”, is his prefernce and he used to live across the street. We were dodging a “friend” of his who was a real douche-bag by leaving the bar and then upon our return.. ditching a friend of “D’s we left the bar to go to another to also meet a potential “new guy” for her since she’s moving out from the apartment where her now-ex lives with her… long and complicated.

So we left in a bit of a hurry and forced to get each others numbers, thanks D.. Wisconsin and I exchanged. I didn’t think for a moment that he would actaully meet us downtown. About 30 minutes later and after we had cabbed it to and moved from our next destination… he texted, “the dope is here, sorry you missed that” and ” soooooooo”. I resoponded with “so bummed, we made it to Hurricane which was kinda cool but moved to he Ganesvort’s Bar. After a few text exchanges.. and a bit of tracking.. he was there though his eyes couldn’t be steered away from D and her “new guy” of the night, Brit-guy. I can’t tell if Wisconsin’s here for me or her? With every sip he stares shaking his head.. “she doesn’t know what she wants”. After a few minutes of finishing up the Cuvee and the Brits had gone along with the extra people we met on the way in to Hurricane, we were left alone.. D and her Brit, Wisconsin and myself with him staring at her the entire drink. Within a few moments the lights were on and we were on our way.. upstairs or out? I’m going home was out of all our mouths and we air-kissed goodnight and went out separate ways.

Wisconsin took off up town and the other 2 went down so I followed Wisconsin since we were both Uptown. We walked a couple blocks before he hailed a cab and we were whisked away in awkward silence, making very small talk? Maybe cause of the money he has with the “very nice car” and the all windowed encompassing river view apartment where the building actually went into the water (kinda cool and would love to see).. maybe he doesn’t think he needs to engage? or maybe not interested? or too tired though I doubt the last as he wasn’t too talkative  for the duration of our shared company. though something about him.. some aire maybe? a mystery? As we spoke in the taxi as he dropped me off before heading to bed, the talk of our 20’s and the differences between now and then shed a bit of light as my last text was not responded to.. he said.. “Ha went back to your place, ya see we never should have left blue room. but I say while you are here for a summer vaca you live like you are in your young 20’s”.  I then asked if he wanted to explore the city without D to let me know and then.. silence..

I thought my signals were clear even though he was trying to do a good job of hiding them.. He was into D all along.. OK, Wisconsin.. NEXT!!! Thank you for the escort home and the introduction to a restaurant I will rarely afford. 🙂

Miami friend-guy at the Gansevort

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Dinner alone at the Havana Club with Jean as my waiter, a Cuban band blaring in the back and foreground and a dancing behind in my chair. Ooooo a text to meet Miami cousin guy at the Gansevort? OK but I’m not dressed for it.. Oh, well. They’ll either let me in or they won’t.

Later…
Super FUN!! He’s sooo sexy when he dances with his Latin flavor!! His cousin had to leave early but pulled me to the outstretched glass windows to ask if we could have dinner some time if I wasn’t dating his cousin or his friend. Nope to the dating, yes to the dinner. we’ll see how that goes!

June 14, 2011

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My grandma asked me today if I was lonely. “yay, sometimes.” My eyes tired today. I napped yesterday and closed my eyes for a few in between my VO audition and watching the brilliantly executed staged reading of Sister Cities written by my friend, Colette Freedman. It gave my eyes an outlet to shed and opened a closed depth hiding within me.

walking back to 45th from a couple of hours on the high-line…

as I sit here… now alone, after my Peruvian mean… once the Indian woman and the Siberian man left so she could grab her early Chicago flight after sharing sympathetic conversations with me once the words “I’m not interested” flew out of my mouth, shifting the body positioning of J., a 54 year old, sober alcoholic of 20 years, injured, out of work actor… i can only go back to writing. “you’re so beautiful, in your own way”, he smiled as I invited him to join after my food had arrived and he was standing in the perimeter with his dishwashing soap clinched in his hands.

Honestly? boundaries!! I thanked him for allowing me or giving me the opportunity to practice, I guess. “Oh, come on, C… which is a beautiful name btw. You know men talk to you because you are beautiful… a breath of fresh air”, he continues as our loves unfold in a series of honest answers straight to the point… almost.. as he points out… “you’re tap dancing around it. I see in your eyes you’re tiring, your brain darting and you’re tap dancing around it. How do you know? Why would you discriminate on age or height? You don’t seem the type”. I don’t say a word. “so open and such charisma”, he continues to compliments as I pussyfoot around as not to step on toes or diminish his self esteem, to protect him of course… or me. “I’m not interested” blurted out of me plain as day and the physical shift from the forward sitting confidence moved to an almost stagnant backward brush off. He thanked me for “saying it”. as I returned for the company, the chat and he was off. Back to his apartment of 30 years just steps from the outside peruvian patio on 9th ave.

Honesty?? Boundaries!!! Mine!! That seems the purpose, the lesson for the evenings events. I strive to see the meanings. Thanks, J.! I’m going home with no tongue in my mouth and a bit of dignity in my pocket.

Date #2a – Revisited Straps

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So.. after a brief email exchange as he still does not have my number nor has asked for it… He decided on our “fancy dinner” of Sushi, which was quite tasty and turned out to be less than 1 block from his place. Now I am staying all the way cross town and walked in the rain, mind you.. street flowing into my feet.. ew!! I was.. yes.. late but left with enough time if it weren’t for the rain stealing the shoes out from under me.. so my pace was slowed substantially. He texted me his number but for some reason my phone deleted it. I almost emailed him “forget it, nice meeting you, don’t think it’s gonna work out” AS I was walking there yet for some reason my.. I’m not sure..m my manners? got the best of me. I thought…OK, I’ll go, we’ll have dinner and I’ll go home. He met me outside, which was kind. He took the liberty of ordering sake and edammame, which was at the table as I arrived from washing the filth from them in the bathroom. his face wasn’t as flaky this time and he was dressed in a blue button down and jean/slacks. HE ordered the meal in it’s entirety and even ate most of it.. well, the things he enjoyed the most, of course. I only got 1 out of 5 shumai.. that’s not right! He again, didn’t seem interested in me in the slightest nor what I had to say and still didn’t look at me when he spoke, kind of a weird habit he has, I guess. Avoid eye contact!! No dessert as he wanted to get back to his place ON THE CORNER to “watch the end of the game”. I came up.. I’m still not sure why and we proceeded to watch the BB game with very little volume. He began stroking my leg and kissing me. Now THAT he looks at me for.. conversation? NO! Even though I know he has a small penis. And is controlling.. I had sex with him anyway. He got me all hot and bothered by doing.. not much. I think I did it to myself actually. I pulled me onto him on the couch and that’s a position I enjoy, all right! Some control of my own. Well, THAT didn’t last as he picked me up and hoisted me onto the bed. I thought… hey… what happened to ME on top. Well, that was put to rest even after I struggled to pull him down so I could hop on. “Wow, it’s got to be your way” I said. He answered “Ya, baby.” “I want to fuck YOU” I responded. “Ya, stop squirming.. in a minute.. get back here” was his. A few minutes of protected sex and he gave in but too off the condom. “Why’d you do that?” I asked. “Oh, baby. I want you to get me hard again, I’ll get another one” actually came out of his mouth. I looked at him like he was crazy, stroking his small member so I could get mine. A minute or so of that and we were in business. He let me have my way then we were back in the living room, on the couch.. well, my knees on the couch, ass up, face to the wall. He was nice enough to pull the couch out so i didn’t hit my head on the wall. I knew it wouldn’t be long as he kept thrusting into my bladder so my back rounded as to not pee on him which he of course didn’t like even though I my legs crossed so he could get friction on his puny pecker. He finished up, condom in the toilet and I was out of there within 3 minutes. “So, I gotta run which I know you’re ok with as we both have to be up early in the morning. Have fun on your trip and with your dad” were my last words as he said” I’ll talk to you when I get back and we’ll get together again, were his. With cab fare in hand I bolted. As I got to the end of the block a man high-fived me as he passed and asked me to go get a drink. He was obviously flirting and very drunk. His name was Jim and he was from Boston with 2 kids and a wife of 10 years. I’m sure if I had said “yes” he would’ve cheated right then and there but instead he walked me cross town and we shot the shit. I had a more interesting conversation with a drunk guy off the street than in 2 dates with Straps. Just goes to show… nothing like connection and conversation. And I kept the car fare for another day. Thanks to you. NEXT!!!

Date #6? App-guy and the MDI…

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Last night I had no tongues thrust into my mouth. I didn’t even know that that would put someone in the forefront but with such low standards, I guess, that makes a big impression? We met at 67th and CPW and with basket in one arm and 2 bottles of wine in the other, he greeted me with a huge smile. His face was long, very long and his brow sweaty. We walked to a clearing nestled between trees overlooking a lake with row boats strewn about. He’s from the Bay area and came out here for college and just stayed.  We sipped white wine, ate hummus, mozzarella and some of the best chocolate soft cookies I had in a very long time. On the double blanket he brought as to keep us dry from any impeding moisture coming from beneath, we were captivated by a men’s group gathering a few trees over. Encircled they chanted.. “I am a fucking jerk! I am a fucking jerk!” over and over after an almost spoken word poetry jam with mostly 30’s white men. Is it a cult? A men’s empowerment group? Standing around a single candle burning in silent prayer? Bowing to their God? The “producer” and I are fascinated by their vigor! Is there a second chapter that has come to join or are they in hopes of being recognized? We talked about theater, well he talked about theater and his adventures in producing. He has developed an App for women and is working on getting it out to the public so women can use it to find out their “color chart”. After he gives them out for free there will be a version that can be purchased so women can put in their specifics and find out what colors are best for them and then what stores are carrying those colors at the moment. Seems pretty cool. His mind works in both arts and sciences. So… “App-guy” and I pack it in after dark as the inquisition was growing. Quickly the blankets were folded and trash gathered up as the “man-cult” appeared to be coming to an end and we had to find out what was going on. We skulked toward the group as to not interrupt their flow. Quietly we lurched over until there was a break in the pack. I sidestepped politely over to them and complimented their intention. “You seem to be doing a good thing here” I smiled.  “I’m not sure what you are doing exactly but it seems it’s for the greater good, I continued. “ The App-guy, waiting a few steps back until the coast was clear. One of the 2 said few words and abruptly returned to the group as if we had intruded on his secret, the other stayed back to acknowledge us and the work that his group are doing here once a month with regular  weekly meetings or smaller more concentrated gatherings. “Men empowerment groups, for all I know it might be a cult”, I chuckled, “but you seems to be producing some great results”. The guy agreed and said that Producer-guy might want to look into it. He gave us a website.. MDIsuccess.com and we were on our way still awe-struck by the thought. Well, it makes sense I guess, that women are more likely joining other women to empower themselves or to find play-dates, relationship advice, group therapy, etc.. so I’m proud that there are groups out there for men. Well, proud might not be the correct word but fulfillediness was the feeling. Glad to know that there are groups out there for men and that some are even taking advantage of them. Producer-guy was more mocking than impressed but he’s a guy, right? He walked me to the bathroom a few blocks away after I turned down his offer to use his since we were only a few feet away. We ended the night with a phone number exchange and a hug. No tongue thrust in my mouth makes him the front runner for sure. Strange that my standards are skewed here in the city. He called today to thank me for last night and that he wants to go out again. Definitely worth a second encounter.

Date #5 Rambles-guy

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The walk began at 72nd St and CPW on a cool-ish evening as he was to bring his dog, Luigi along but he was now back at joint custody, mom’s house? They are apart but still share the dog.. ok.. so no Luigi.  Strolling through the Rambles he told me the history of the gay-sex haven. He was a reddish dark blond man of uneven proportions. Legs shorter than body and larger head for his size? Good looking nonetheless. Our banter was quick and our humor matched. We sat on a bench and he told me of the time his father caught him masturbating when he had come from college one break. It was his “most private thing he was willing to admit” as stated from the okc website. Well, hi nice to meetcha! After a few more bench stories, the breeze was setting in and we were heading off. As we reached the stairs he stopped, grabbed my head and planted one right on me. It wasn’t really requested and came as a bit of a shock to me. I recovered quickly and we continued on up the stairs. I didn’t really have anything to say about it so we pretended as if it didn’t happen? He had made dinner plans but wanted to show me his building’s window from where he put his bed through the glass and newly purchased custom blinds.  I kinda think he wanted me to walk him home. I don’t really remember what he does but I know that with one more kiss, him telling me, “you have my number, we should do this again. I had a good time.” So off I went to find some grub and maybe a new adventure. Thanks, Rambling man.

Really Lawyer-kid guy? Advice??

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Not responding to this was stubborn pig-headed and rude!

Your theory about cutting off ANY contact because anything you say leads them on is frankly self-centered, childish and rude. You gave me that advice and its bad advice. You are single, C because you don’t have the flexibility to appreciate when someone admits that they are wrong and genuinely appreciates you and loves you. You think everyone is out to get you. I hope you figure out how to open your heart it’s a good one and I am glad I had the chance to see it. If you open it further it will be happier in the end.

Good luck C-