reliving old ghosts

I feel like I’m calling in my past heartaches at the moment… only a few but enough.

Last week Isaw my ex-boyfriend when he shoed up at my grandma’s memorial. It was a familiar delight to wrap my arms around him. We broke up over 4.5 years ago and with his girlfriend of about a year and a half… we don’t talk much, though he’s always in my heart! Sooooo Much, so much 🙂

A could days ago I spent a drunken evening with my heartache from last fall where we actually got a bit physical after a few too many bourbons. We finally got to feel what kissing each other would be like and I think we both kinda liked it, as the song goes.

And then the blast from the very distant pass of a half a life ago still to sit face to face after all these years!

Why are they coming for me or better yet, why am I calling them into my life? 

I’m going back to NYC at the end of the week and maybe it’s to lock the doors that have been shut for all this time? OR to open the peephole to allow for some light? Could be just coinscience, I guess? I know better than that, though. Maybe it’s just so I can write a new post 🙂 It’ll come to me, I”m sure… It usually does.


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