Getting through it… Computer-guy


In only my panties, violently making my bed one pillow at a time; throwing the comforter down, we argued as he was clothed even to his boots! His BOOTS!! What is the fucking problem?? So what? that I don’t want to take the plastic off the Ipad! Does it really matter THAT much?? And if so.. WHY?? Why is this such a point of content? YES, he’s right, I’m sure… It makes more “sense” to unwrap it and feel the glass as “that’s how it was intended to be used!!” comes out of his mouth with force but it’s MINE and I don’t want to take it off. Let it go!! so He did… out of the warm embrace on to the cool hardwood floors, into the bathroom to dress himself all the way to his shoes as that was the breaking point! The plastic on my computer? Even his shoes he retreats inside the protection of bubble wrap as to shield himself from the issues and from me! This is ridiculous!! Who gives a fuck about the plastic on my Ipad? And would should it bother him soooo much if I leave it on? It’s my comfort and it’s MY machine! So what, that I want to protect it from scratches even though he explains that “the glass can not be scratched by metal or anything else for that matter” and that he would “buy me a new one if it was scratched or damaged but it couldn’t be unless I was to take a diamond and rub it on it’s face” and that I am “being silly for thinking that any harm could be done to it” and “that it’s not being used the way it was intended” and that he knows this for a fact because this is what he does! as he escalates when he realizes that it’s not even a plastic cover I bought for it but the “fucking plastic that came with it!! And that it doesn’t PROTECT ANYTHING!! He gets out of bed and gets fully dressed as to walk out because he wonders how my “OCD” about the fucking plastic could lead to other mental problems down the line” and again… WHO FUCKING CARES??? THAT I FEEL BETTER WITH THE FUCKING PLASTIC ON MY OWN FUCKING IPAD??? We’re going to end the relationship over something like this??? He put on his SHOES!!! He says that he needed to remove himself from the situation before he said something he didn’t mean and that I was acting out of line and that he wasn’t raising his voice or getting out of control, which again is WHY he got up (so aggressively) to get completely dressed down to his shoes and how can he not see that he’s pulling away?? He’s NOT acting any more rationally than I am and he believes he’s right and I don’t care if he is because having the plastic RIPPED off something that is mine feels like a violation of me and my comforts for myself and I’m still working on “protecting me” with “boundaries” that make sense for me and I KNOW they are not RATIONAL!!! I don’t say they are but they are mine and should be cherished as some of the “cute stuff I do” rather than a disorder. I have a different way of reacting to the way something makes me feel and he’s got his SHOES on! Not just that he had to remove himself, even abruptly, to I don’t know, grab a glass of water, go sit in the other room, pace around… but he flew the comforter off, abruptly sprang from the bed which we had shared (for the first time, mind you), gathered his belongings and was storming out! Because of something sooo stupid!! I know this is “area of expertise” and it may bump up against my “comforts” but to wrap up, shut off and walk out? That’s a bit extreme and will only push me to shut off as well, the exact opposite of what we are looking for here. This is ridiculous!! and all the while… It feels like something being forced upon me that I’m not in a place to take in at the moment. My time is different than his is and my comforts are on a different pace. We want to make it through such petty arguments and disagreements. I am ready to call it quits for something sooo amazingly insignificant, neither of us able to give up or “rightness” or our point of view in the moment how stupidly small. AND again, he’s fully dressed… I’m red-faced, still naked except for my white lace-sided panties. A comment shared later on as the heat turned to understanding and a very wet shared shower! “Make-up sex?” I asked as I knelt down engulfing him with my desires, after conditioning his hair as his hands washed every inch of my body. “Not really, since we weren’t really fighting”, he fired back. “Please? as I kissed him into submission; bodies pressed up against each other, water penetrating our erotic heat and new level of communication. What a way to get through a morning and one more step in understanding the complexities of each other. I am blessed to be where I am! Still looking for a nickname for him that sticks… I’ll give BB a try.

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