“Yeah, yeah…. Whatever. :p

Good for you. Blow me off or whatever you need to do.

Question for you?
When are you going to slow down? When are you going to refrain from your narcissistic flights of fancy and let love into your life? You keep dancing around it. You take giant leaps of confidence AWAY from the quiet moments of letting it grow within you—

At this point you can label me crazy, stalkerish, whatever you please. But this goes back to the ‘power of the pause’ if you remember from our sidewalk conversation. C, amidst your defense of being so ****ing aloof, there is something there… something unique… something grand that I feel you have buried! You have buried that treasure for so long that you have resentment about it. You expressed resentment toward me for REALLY ASKING ABOUT YOU. You wanted to rush over your feelings and protect it, almost getting mad at me for trying to peek in. Yes, I wanted you to bring your treasure out and play and share as we ‘kids’ do. But you took it away. And you keep taking it away. You don’t think I don’t hear that part of your life in your voice? Of how you really want to share? For some reason with you, I really ‘hear it’. It’s inexplicable.

YES, I called you out on being late. YES I called you out on your appearance for the second date. Because I wanted you to SHOW UP! I wanted the possibility to celebrate with you!! Even on the third date, I drove all that way excited to pick you up and you barely said ‘hi’. You were caught up in your legal letter. I get how nerve racking that could be. But I drove 1.5 hours in traffic excited about my date with you and I have to beg you to acknowledge me?

C, even if you are not into me — SHOW UP!!! Pick up the phone! SHOW UP FOR LOVE! It’s waiting for you!

If you were a lawyer on my defense team, you would be my best lawyer! You know why? Cause when I asked about your appearance on the second date, you backed me up with, “Yeah, my friends have said, ‘Are you going out on a date like that?’”
D- 1 S- 0
Thanks for the point. Even your girlfriends agree.

Next point Counsel S. Phone etiquette. You said your friends even get upset with you that you are not good with the phone. You know why? CAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT YOU! THEY WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! I wanted to hear from you as well! I have no ****ing interest in controlling you. But I have an interest in you being open to love and SHOWING UP FOR IT. Cause I’m waiting.
D- 2 S- 0
You’re good at giving me points.
Also, I will never forget when 9/11 happened and you heard all those calls people made from the planes and the towers… calling their loved ones before they perished. That’s all we have C. That vital expression… and that is important to me. Nothing controlling about that in my book.

I probably expect to be blocked by you at this point. But think C. THINK. SHOW UP. Open your heart, stop controlling sh*tand running over your emotions. I HEAR how you have been hurt, and I was doing everything in my power to get over my previous hurt and triggers to get to a place where I can share with you.
—cause I got a feeling that you genuinely like sharing as much as I do.

And I got what you said that you have been through what I have been through and NOW you are in a different place. Bullshit. I am calling your bluff. You have your treasure buried for far too long. And I know it’s there. I don’t think you believe it’s even there.

Again, customer service lines are now open.

And if I don’t hear from you. Good luck.
Xoxo truly!

You make me pissed. Because I genuinely care.

Signed,
That guy in Orange County”

not sure how to respond… so better say nothing! Don’t need anymore fuel on this fire!!