OK.. Car-guy wants to see me before he goes off for the another Wedding weekend somewhere. We agree to meet near my old hood in Hell’s Kitchen. I was around the corner and he was DRIVING to Columbus Circle. He said he was a minute or so away and 15 minutes later, I was called to get him some change and that the “lights were taking a long time”. NOW we have seen each other what, like 4 or 5 times by now?? He has NEVER, not once been even close to on-time and seemed to have lied each time about why. I would have walked had I known it was going to be this much trouble.

“I have to dress up next time I see you,” he comments as he wears a track jacket and shorts, cap and tennis shoes. I think I’ve seen him in pants once and it was raining that day. No harm… “Or I get to stand near you in public next time you don’t” I joked. He’s got this weird thing about public displays of affection and I’m not talking making out on the street corner. Well that too, but I’m saying more like… don’t stand too close, rub up against or have ANY contact in the slightest while other people MAY be able to witness – kind of creepy. SO…WHERE ARE MY CLUES???

We find a parking place for the Mercedes that is NOT his since he’s borrowing it from the friend that crashed his car in the Hamptons a couple months back; illegal u-turns and down the street backing while lane changing… and I can see WHY his car would have been totaled. Actually it was a bit impressive, as scarey as it was to pretend I was not scared shitless. Walking to Columbus Circle, I in my Electric Blue Coat and heels and him in trackers carrying a shirt to be returned, we enter the “mall” and he says, “I’ll meet you in Crate and Barrel because I don’t want you to see me go off of these guys for making such a crappy shirt that I have to return after one wear. I’m gonna go OFF and you probably shouldn’t see that.” UM… The clue is WHERE?? I’m left to fend for myself in a mall of all places?? One of my LEAST favorite places on earth? FINE!

I attempt to walk around but angst sets in and I head to Whole Foods instead. Gosh, I really despise the mall. I text him that I will be in the chips section and to find me. When he texts back he says he’s looking for me so I come out to find him so we can go get lunch and I find him buying himself pizza because he “couldn’t find me”. Really? What’s the deal?? We had this issue 2 other times before when we were supposed ot grab a bite and he said he wasn’t hungry so I got something only to find that as soon as I ate my “tide me over snack” he was ready to eat or he “grabbed something on the way” another time. CLUE??? Anytime, here!! So, I ask him if we are still eating and he has “forgotten”. “Sure! But it has to be quick since I have to get to the plane.” Um..OK.. I’m STILL there, mind you.

We go upstairs to the mall’s “food court” and by this time it’s been about an hour after we were called to meet up for a bite and I’m hungry and a bit dissatisfied with the way this is going. We each order, him a quiche and myself a pulled pork sandwich. He says “we can share. It’ll be romantic”. I go with it, still smiling and hoping for the best. His quiche takes longer than he desired so he was getting a bit antsy and since I can’t touch him in public, I have no way to assure him it will be ok.

He takes a couple bites of his nuked egg souffle and about half of mine (since we’re sharing) which he liked better though complained it might hurt his stomach with all the sauce (to which there was not much of). Then he proceeds to pour 2 packets of salt on his quiche forgetting of course that we are to share it, offers me a bite after laughing “oh, guess I shouldn’t have done that, huh? It needed the salt though, it wasn’t very good.” Then snaked my last bite of meat out of MY sandwich and shoved it in his face. OH! THIS was NOT COOL! I instantly shot him a look which he took in as I sat there silent and in awe of the disrespect and lack of common courtesy. What an ASSHOLE! MY last bite of the almost half of sandwich I was almost allowed to scarf down because of his time restraint after being held off 20 or so minutes, been sent to get change, cast off to the depths of MALL-Hell, hungry and now my last bite stolen from my mouth?? REALLY?? CLUE..HEY if you’re there… PLEASE show yourself. Send me a sign that I’ve had enough of this one. Just ONE tiny glimpse of a sign!!?? ANYTHING!! I was STUNNED! “That was NOT cool!” were the only words I could get out. “NOT COOL!!” “What? there was barely any meat in there. You got ALMOST a half a sandwich. That should be enough for you. You weren’t paying anyway.” Again.. stunned!! Silent!! SIGN?? CLUE?? Come on!!?

As I walked NEAR him, on the same side of the street, back to the car with him now knowing by my head shaking, eyes down, arms crossed silence… That it was indeed.. not cool! OH YES!!! I’m still there. What am I thinking I’m gonna to salvage here and WHY?? This is NOT the guy!

“I can’t even touch you. Not in the car. On the street. Anywhere that is presumed ‘public’… That’s NOT OK with me” I manage to get out. “This is not our best time together”, he recoils. “What was your best moment of the last hour?” he tries to regain his footing. And I try to play along though I’m fuming, “I’ll go” he blurts out. “when I ate your sandwich was not the best part, though there wasn’t much meat left in it so… when I got my shirt replaced”. So much awkward silence filled those 20 blocks with him stressing about getting me back downtown so he could “make his plane”, which I found out was actually in Boston and he was picking up a friend to drive up together because the flights were cheaper and he hadn’t packed and REALLY?? What was I doing there?? “You know you can just let me out here, it’ll save you some time” I said. “No, I can’t just leave you on the corner” he replied. “No, you can. I love to walk and it will save time and I here would be just fine.” I continued. “Well, I’ll take you to the next corner”, he smiled like a puppy dog who knew peeing on the carpet was wrong. “OK, so That was FUN. Not one of our best days. And there really wasn’t much meat left for you to be mad at.” were the last words I heard him say as he kissed me on the cheek. “It’s really not about the meat”… And I closed the door and began walking home.

What is with me that I feel I have to be the “nice girl”? not to “rock the boat”? Afraid that “he” may not like me that keeps me in situations waaaaaay longer than I really need to be? HAVE I gotten it yet?? the SIGN?? the esteem shoved in my being?? ARGH!!